Ahsoka Alone
by KittyGreene
Summary: The orange-red sky attacks my eyes with its brightness, but I feel like it should be raining. It's the end of the day, the end of my journey as a Jedi. It should have been longer. Maybe I can go back... No. I made my choice.
1. Chapter 1 - Exile

Chapter 1: Exile

The cold wind blows across my face, making my tears ice cold. I don't have the strength to wipe them away. Every step I take is like a lifetime, and my stomach sinks deeper with every movement I make. I can still hear him, sobbing. I know, he's holding that braid in his hand, clutching it tightly, holding it to his face. I know I've betrayed him. He's alone because I was too afraid of the Jedi. I was afraid of the people he was so committed to.

The orange-red sky attacks my eyes with its brightness, but I feel like it should be raining. It's the end of the day, the end of my journey as a Jedi. It should have been longer. Maybe I can go back...

No.

I made my choice.

The sun finally sets, and I'm somewhere in the ghetto of Coruscant. I remember seeing Ventress for the first time in a very long time, in an alley not unlike this one. There's an exhaust vent next to a stack of boxes here. The cheap cloak and food supplies I bought with the last of my credits are all I have now, but the cloak will at least keep me warm during the nighttime. Hopefully no police clones find me here.

I press up against the set of boxes, and pull the cloak over my legs, then put my arms through the sleeves, and pull the hood over my face. As the world quietens for the night, I drift away.

At first, it's just darkness. Then a blue sky appears, like the one on Naboo. Blue and big and beautiful. Peaceful birds chirp in the trees which rustle in the quiet wind. A sea expands in front of me, calm, not a ripple on its surface.

From above, a single raindrop falls from the sky, and it splashes down onto the cool lake, and two sets of ripples ring out, in sync with one another.

A dark current of water changes the directions of the ripples, and soon the water is black and waves crash onto the golden sea bank, taller than my head. Then, two figures emerge from the place where the first droplet fell. They look like children, and as they grow they are pulled further and further apart. Once they are fully grown, they outstretch their hands to the now red stormy sky, and with their movement the clouds begin to clear.

One figure reaches down for something, and a small figure appears at her side, holding her hand. A dark cloud surrounds him, like smoke. He opens his eyes, glowing yellow like the eyes of a Sith.

And then I wake up.

The sun beats down on my back as I swerve my way through the streets of Coruscant. Other people in dark cloaks lean against cement buildings, their hands in their pockets, faces obscured. I wring my hands as I walk, slick with sweat. I just don't want to run into any clones or Jedi. Keeping myself out of trouble is my first priority. Somewhere, I have to find some transit out of this system.

"You need a power converter," a woman with a raspy voice asks, and shoves her wares into my face.

"No, thanks," I say as I push them away. A quick sting shocks me for a moment. Static. "Sorry."

"Not a problem," the woman says. "Is there something else I may be able to get for you? For the right price of course."

"Transit would be nice."

"Sure thing, doll." She holds out her hand, and I give her my transmitter, already signed out of the republic system.

"I can get you a ship of your own for this," she says.

That transmitter is worth a small fortune, but a ship would be great.

"Make? Model?" I smile at her, hoping for the best.

"Follow me," she says, and turns slowly, her body hunched over, and hobbles forward. She leads me through several alleyways, to a large garage with a landing platform. The sides of the grate are lined with several different ships, ranging in efficiency from pieces of junk like the Holkram 25c, to a pretty new Lezzaire.

"Here," she says, gesturing a ship in good condition, a smuggler. "I can't guarantee that you won't a have a few bounty hunters on your trail for this, but it's the best I can give you.

"This is great, thanks." I make my way to board the ship.

"Wait," she calls. I turn to look at her. She outstretches a hand to me with something in it. "You forgot your change."

"Keep it," I say.

"No, it's yours. I'm not a thief. I'm not a gambler either. I've had a few too many run-ins with exiled Jedi in my day."

I stutter as she places a small pouch in my hand.

"That should be the exchanged total for that transmitter. Mostly in credits, but there's some other currencies as well."

"But the ship..."

"Wasn't mine in the first place," she shrugs. "Head to Jakku, there's a settlement of former Jedi there, calling themselves the Grays. A friend of mine is the leader. Ask for Leon Rambi."

She squeezes my hands between hers, and looks up at me.

"Thank you," I say.

"No, thank you." She kisses my cheek, and walks out of the hangar.

I can get to Jakku within a few hours, so I decide to pick up some food first. There's a dingy food stall across the street from the hangar, that sells non-perishable foods. I buy 100 packets, stuffing them into a knapsack I also buy there. The owner tries to push me to buy other things as well, but I don't need them. I pay him as much as it costs, and leave. By now, it's midday.

I wonder what Skyguy would be doing now? Would he still be sad, or would he have moved on and done... Whatever he does when I'm not around. It's always weird, whenever he's not around, neither is Senator Amidala.

Fishy.

It's hard to stay alert without letting my mind drift on the way to Jakku. Flying alone is unbearable. Especially without a mechanic droid. An R2 unit would be nice right now, if only to give my updates and percentages. My mind wanders, revisiting times between deployments when master would teach me. He'd throw empty tin cans at me, I'd push them back, he'd come at me with an Ataru attack slash, and I would defend with the same style, batting his saber away. Then I'd draw my other blade, and shift stances to better suit a two-bladed fighter. I smile at the memory, and feel a wave of regret wash over me.

I shouldn't have left.

But there's no turning back.

I finally land in a small hangar on Jakku to refuel, and then use the ship as transport over the planet's surface. It's mostly just sand, with ridges like mountains. Small water springs start little villages around them, and the people who own the fountains start scavenging businesses, taking parts in exchange for rations. Locals drift past each other, shooting dirty looks and sneering. Three people wait for payment for parts that they brought. A young child with orange skin which fall across his fat body in wrinkles plays in the sand. His father, his face unshaven for several days serves the scavengers with instant meals. His gruff voice sounds like a heavy rock being dragged across a wooden board. His eyes are black and beady, and his mouth twists into a permanent frown.

People pass me by, not speaking, not really doing much of anything. The sun hangs low in the sky, and it's hard to see, especially with a cloak over my head. Cautiously, I remove my hood, and set it across my shoulders. Nobody gives me a second look. I take a deep breath and start moving back to my ship.

 _Whoomph_

I'm suddenly knocked off balance, and I fall to the ground. Sand flies, and my cloak opens up to expose my belt. The person who bumped into me mumbles an apology and offers a hand to help me up. Flustered, I take it, and he pulls me to my feet. One moment I'm on my feet, the next I'm trying not to kiss him.

"Come with me," he whispers. His voice is hoarse.

I pry my wrist out of his hand, and look him in the face. The man I see in front of me is old, a grey beard covers the bottom half of his face, and thick eyebrows twist into a concerned look.

"No," I say, "I have to meet someone here."

"Oh?" He smiles. "I might me able to help you." He extends his hand to me, and with out even touching me, I'm pulled back towards him.

"Are you a gray," I gape.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Leon Rambi," I reply, reaching for my weapon.

"Look no further," he whispers, "follow me."


	2. Chapter 2 - Jakku

Chapter 2 - Jakku

Hot sand knicks my face as it blows in the sweltering wind. My skin flares and stings, tiny flakes peeling off. The sun beats down on my back, so hot I feel like my cloak will set on fire.

The gray saunters on, ignoring the blistering wind and sand, one thin cloth wrapped around his face, which quivers in the blowing wind. He breathes evenly, not noticing the violent wind. Over his eyes, he wears a pair of pilot goggles, like the ones worn by pod racers. His face is lightly scarred by the hot sand, tiny little dots that tell me that he didn't always have this protection from the storms.

We walk on, wake over wake, ridge upon ridge of sand. As we walk, the sun begins to set, which means it will get very cold soon. I can barely stand without my walking stick, but the gray walks without any help, accustomed to the winds and the pelting sand.

Finally, he stops in front of the first cliff I've seen the entire time I've been on Jakku. It towers upwards, but there are several holes, each one covered with nets of wire, and reinforced with thick cloth. One door protrudes through the rock, painted the same shade and texture as the rock. The gray extends two fingers and opens the door, which slides into the wall with a quiet hiss.

"After you," he grunts, gesturing to the open door.

"Thank you," I nod.

The entryway is dark and musty, and a set of staircases extends upwards through the cliff, constructed entirely of rock. To the left and right, large arches lead to meeting rooms. Up on each landing, two thin doors, one on each side, lead to small homes, some with windows, some without.

"You can take the one on the right side, up 5 landings. It's labeled number 313."

"There can't be 313 rooms in this place," I say.

"There aren't. It's just number 313. Here's your key. It's a small suite, so I hope you don't have claustrophobia." He hands me a microchip, encased in thin plastic. "Dinner is at 0700 hours, be down here in clean clothes, and take a shower."

"What time is it now?"

"0500 hours."

I nod, and start my climb up the stairs. The rough sand is still clinging to my skin, which is slick with sweat. There's sand in my mouth, and my lips are so cracked they're peeling. I feel disgusting, and suddenly, in the shade, I feel a rush of cold.

With a shiver, I turn the handle to my room, and enter the living space.

He really did mean small.

There's a single bed tucked up against the wall, a thin storage unit next to it, which back home they might call a nightstand, and next to that is the door to the bathroom. All that they give me in the bathroom is a small, clogged shower head in the corner, a drain in the floor, a "toilet" that doesn't flush, and a wash basin which substitutes for a normal sink. There's a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, and an old flip-switch on the wall next to the door. I can touch the wood of the door while leaning against the opposite wall, that's how cramped this place is. I suppose I could use the toilet in the shower, if it weren't for the shoddy flow. The bedroom is lit by one circular light fixture fastened to the ceiling, but two of the bulbs are burnt out and so the room is still quite dark. The bed feels like it's made out of rocks, but it's warmer than the floor.

I shed my clothes and take a quick shower, scrubbing the dust and sand out of my skin, before beating out and throwing the same clothes on again. I don't look much better, but I'm cleaner.

There's no point to staying in my room, so I head downstairs early, hoping to catch another resident and maybe learn something about Leon Rambi.

I turn the corner into the cozy sitting room, which hosts a few worn-out couches, an old radio atop a large fireplace; which is lit, a few random coffee tables and bookshelves, and several rugs and blankets to act as throws. In the corner near the door, there's a bar, and opposite the door is an arch leading into the mess hall and kitchen.

The room is silent, there's only one other person here, a Tholothian girl, laying across a couch reading an owner's manual for an old ship. On her head she wears a dusty green headwrap, which tames her teardrop shaped appendages which grow from the top of her head like hair. There's oil on her nose, and a pair of oil-covered gloves rest on the coffee table, which is stained from the black oil. She must do this more often.

In the mess hall, a Quarran man with long and curly mouth tentacles whispers quietly to a Mirialan woman with a diamond-shaped forehead tattoo. Both of them face a silent Rodian guy, who is just sitting there, staring at the fireplace, the flickering orange and yellow light reflecting in his round, starry eyes.

I make my way into the mess hall.

Suddenly, the attention of all three beings in the room shifts to me. They all stare, their eyes fixed on my belt, my cheeks, my forehead, my montrals. Their eyes search me, finding my lightsabers strapped to my hip, calculating my age, and looking back at my eyes, confused.

"A Jedi Knight," mumbles the Mirialan, searching my face for extra years.

"No," says the Quarran. "Runaway Jedi Consular."

"The consular aren't around anymore. We all left after the war broke out," argues the Mirialan.

I feel like I should say something, but if I speak, I think I'll only make things worse. Instead I move to a table near the back of the room, and take a seat, pulling out my lightsabers.

"Two lightsabers," comments the Rodian.

I ignore him, popping open the lightsaber to clean it. It floats in front of me, as I focus the force to separate each part. The inside of the saber is filled with sand and gunk from the last mission and the trip here. The gunk is mainly a mixture of old blood, (which is fried by electricity,) dirt, and tiny bits of metal from the droids I've destroyed.

My crystal stays clean of course, but it glints with a sort of matte texture that it didn't have before.

"A new recruit," says the Quarran, "she hasn't purified her crystal yet."

The Rodian looks over at the Mirialan with haughty eyes. "Green crystal," he says.

"The color of the crystal doesn't mean anything anymore," the Mirialan protests.

I put the saber back together, and pull out my polishing cloth from my belt. I focus completely on polishing the rusted and dirty metal.

"You think she was in the war," wonders the Rodian.

"What a stupid question, everyone was sent to war." Says the Quarran.

"Really," says the Rodian.

I focus now on my short saber, polishing the steel and clicking the button a few times to loosen sand.

"Quiet, isn't she," remarks the Quarran.

"Brons, leave the girl alone," says the Mirialan. "Maybe she doesn't want to talk."

"We didn't exactly invite her to," says the Rodian. "Hey!"

Now he looks at me, expecting me to reply.

"Hello," I say, trying to divert attention.

"Welcome to the homestead," he says, smiling. "My name is Hoonji. The Mirialan is Norrissa, and the Quarran is Brons."

"Hello," I say again, focusing back on my sabers.

"What is your name," he asks, not letting up.

"Ahsoka," I say. "I'm Ahsoka Tano."

Norrissa smiles. "Why are you here?"

"I had to leave the Jedi order. They accused me of a crime I didn't commit and didn't trust me enough to convince me to stay."

"What kind of crime," pries Brons.

"Murder of a citizen awaiting trial. It wasn't me. It was my friend."

"Wow. And they pegged that on you," says Hoonji.

"I was the only person in the room when she died. They thought I choked her, but my friend was in the next room, and choked her. Then they thought I was involved in the plot that the citizen was involved in, which was the bombing of a clone hangar."

"And they didn't have any confidence in you, not even your old master?"

"No, he believed me. He actually helped me get out of the situation, he found out that it was my friend."

"Well, I'm sure that the Jedi lost a great Knight that day," says Norissa.

"Actually," I say, "I wasn't a knight."

"A Master, then," she asks.

"A padawan. I turned in my braid when I left."

The reassuring smile she once wore suddenly disappeared, and she looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

"Just a kid," sighs Brons.

"They didn't send you out in the field, did they?" Hoonji gets up and sits next to me, taking my hand.

"Yeah. I fought in my fair share of battles."

"No, they wouldn't do that to a padawan," argues Norissa.

"They do. All of us are taken out on the field. Actually, I was technically too young to become a padawan when I was assigned to my master and fought my first battle."

"That can't be, master Yoda could not be that heartless," said Hoonji.

"What do you mean? He thought I was ready, so he assigned me to my master."

"But your master must have not let you fight, he had to have cared for you," Brons exclaimed.

"He did, but he had to worry about himself, too. My master is pretty well known as a general. He's the chosen one."

The three of them stared at me, disbelief in their eyes.

"The one who will bring balance to the force," they ask in unison.

"Yes," I say, uncomfortable with their stares. "His name is Anakin Skywalker."

"Anakin Skywalker, huh," an unfamiliar voice says.

All of us turn to face the door, where a Human man stands, leaning against the door jamb. His face is wrinkled, and his hair is grey, a thin but long beard flowing to his chest. He wears a cloak of grey fabric, worn to the bare bones. Under that cloak he wears a high collared grey shirt with golden trim. At his hip he bears a long saberstaff handle. His eyes are dark with unrest, and there's a certain sadness in his eyes.

The three back off, standing upright, stiff as boards.

"Sit down, sit down," the man waves, walking over to the table.

The Tholothian girl follows him in, the manual under her arm. She looks over at me, curiosity in her brown eyes.

"So, you're the new recruit Logan told me about," he asks.

"I'm not a recruit. I'm looking for Leon Rambi. A friend of his told me I would be safe with him."

"Did she now," he laughs.

"I never said it was a woman."

"Did the old bag run a ship dealership?"

"Yes," I say, more suspicious. "I assume you know this person?"

"I do."

"Then do you know where I can find Leon Rambi?"

The Tholothian girl finally speaks. "You're looking at him."


	3. Chapter 3 - Inner Conflict

Chapter 3 - Inner Conflict

There is a moment of shocked silence as I realize that this man is my supposed saviour. This is Leon Rambi.

Something about this seems... Wrong.

Leon looks like he's pushing 70, possibly 80, and yet he is supposed to be the person who can take care of us, of all the Jedi deserters?

If he was not a man, but a being like Yoda, I would have more confidence. But the being I see in front of me is Human. Impossibly strong in their younger years, able to survive much more than most beings, and yet as they get older, unable to take proper care of themselves and those around them. It's a wonder that this man can even walk around on his own.

I cannot entrust my life to someone so... Useless.

"You're, you're Leon Rambi," I say, exasperated.

"Yes, that is me," he replies. "You look surprised."

"I am. I was expecting someone-"

"Younger," interrupts the Tholothian.

"Di'ari," says Brons, pushing her back. "Hold your tongue. She's seen a lot more action than any of us. Of course, excepting Leon."

I can't help but laugh.

"What's so funny," Leon asks.

"I'm sorry," I say, "but you can't possibly have been in more battles than I."

"Well, it's not something you compare," he protests.

"I have stared death in the eye, and never flinched. Daily, I watched my friends, my family die out on the battlefield, while I fought on, taking the responsibility of their deaths upon myself, because of my tactical mistakes. I have walked through fire and brimstone to come here, seeking protection." I sigh. "It seems I would be better off on my own than staying here under the protection of a senile human, who left the Jedi before war even broke out."

Silence falls.

Everyone in the room stares at me, stunned, except for Leon. Instead, fire burns in his eyes, an anger which pierces through his eyes, attempting to cut me, and bring me down to his level, but they do not reach past my thick shield of experience.

"Leave," barks Leon, gesturing to the others in the room. "Ahsoka and I need to talk, alone."

Their eyes linger on me, just for a moment too long. Then, in utter and complete silence, they file out of the room, one by one.

I know he's going to scold me, maybe even kick me out, but I am not scared. Anakin was example enough for the sheer power of pent-up aggression and anger.

"Sit down," he says, his voice soft, calm.

"No," I reply. "I'd rather stand, and have a rational conversation, as adults."

"As adults, huh?" He shakes his head. "How old are you, sixteen, seventeen?"

"Seventeen," I reply, "but age has no bearing on experience."

"Experience. And exactly how much experience do you have, Ahsoka?"

"More than you," I say. "I've been in the war effort since I was thirteen, and I've fought through trauma and pain to get here, though I don't see the point in being here."

"Then leave," he snaps. "

"What," I ask, exasperated.

"You have one week to stay here, and then you must leave. Find somewhere else to pitch your tent!"

"Gladly. I'd rather take care of myself, thank you very much."

I spin on my heel, and stomp out of the room.

I feel betrayed. How could this all be hinging on the life force of an old human?

Angrily, I strike the wall, with all the force of my being, and feel the dust off the wall colliding with my face. Where my fist landed, a large piece of rock falls, shattering into smaller bits and pieces. I shake my hand, flinging little bits of dust and dirt from my fingertips.

Some hideout.

As soon as I finish climbing the giant staircase, I fling myself into my bed, face first. The stiff mattress is unforgiving, and I'm hit with a wall of pain. Sore, I sit up again, and lean with my back against the wall, before noticing the cold liquid soaking into my clothes. I shiver, sitting up straight, and hug my arms close to myself. The sun has gone down for the night, and the frigid air creeps in through the thin windows.

I wasn't made for this kind of thing.

Sitting there in the dim light, I notice that I haven't cried since I left the Jedi. I haven't felt anything since I left the Jedi, until the moment I felt anger at Leon. In fact, I hadn't felt anger in a very long time.

My eyes begin to blur, and there's a catch in my throat as I begin to cry.

I could have lead such a nice life, if none of this had happened. I could have been a Jedi knight, maybe even a Jedi master, and blissfully lived in peace with the light, using my power to help the galaxy survive, to win the war.

But instead, I'm here, in a cold, dimly lit glorified cave, with a bunch of dropouts and an old man to depend on for protection, while the war wages on.

And what about my friends, the people I love who rely on the Jedi, who couldn't have any confidence or trust in me, when I was targeted by the dark side.

And that traitor, Barriss.

At the very thought of her, my hands begin to tingle and shake, spasming and vibrating. I know I shouldn't, but all I can think is how much I want her to die by my hand. I want to rip her lying face off, to strangle her with my bare hands.

No.

Jedi don't think like that.

Then again,

I'm not a Jedi anymore.

Morning breaks slowly here. First there's the light blue light of the sun, still hiding behind the horizon. Then, red light, like a beam comes streaming through the thin window, as the sky changes color from the starry blue of night to red, and the sun rises in a yellow ball, turning the sky to a final peaceful shade of blue, though the heat of the outdoors is anything but peaceful.

The hideout begins to heat, quickly making all of us turn on our shoddy air conditioning system.

I make my way downstairs quietly, but as I move from room to room doing anything to keep me busy, I raise my head high. I don't regret what I said at all.

Finally, we're all called to luncheon, and I make my way to the mess hall, hoping to grab something and get out as fast as I can.

But Di'ari is waiting for me.

She wears a scowl, her arms folded, and her eyes are tired from boredom. There's oil on her nose again, or maybe she never took it off. Her hands are stained with black oil and grime, from whatever work she had been doing before. It looks like she's one of the mechanics, no pilot would ever be covered in that much oil if they could prevent it.

"Hey, Jedi," she calls, her voice monotone, but still catching my attention.

"What do you want," I snap.

"I need some help in the shop. I heard you're making yourself useful and Chikari could use a hand cleaning up."

Thank the force that's all she wanted. "Sure, I can spare some time."

"Good," she says, before turning in to the mess hall, joining the newly formed line of people waiting for food.

I wait until a few people I don't know have joined the line first, then take a spot, taking what I can, and leaving to eat by the stairs.

Nobody comes here, at least, nobody has since I came here. And nobody bothers me while I eat, which is nice. Having some time to myself is all I need right now. I sit on the hard stone floor, and look over my meal. They gave us two small rocks which are soft, so I guess they're buns, a soup that's just as grey as the cloak Leon wore, and a blue milk of some sort.

I'm just about to start eating, when someone sits down next to me.

She's a Pantoran, and she wears an orange dress, overtop of some blue-ish purple slacks. She smiles at me, brushing her short purple hair over her ear.

"You know, I usually sit here," she says.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I can move."

"No, no, please don't. It's nice to have company while you eat."

"Why don't you eat in the mess hall?"

She laughs. "It's too crowded. And people always try and make me sit with them when I just want to eat. So I thought, if I didn't eat with them, they wouldn't bother me as much."

"And do they?"

"When I'm working they still bother me, but when I'm eating I can have peace and quiet."

I nod.

She smiles again, and takes a sip of the soup.

"Forgive me for prying, but why does everyone bother you so much," I ask.

"I don't know, but it's awfully inconvenient."

Again, I nod. I know what it's like to be so preoccupied with making others comfortable that you can't even make yourself comfortable. I had to take the younglings to Ilum, I had to attend, listen, and care for each and every one of the clones in my regiment with minimal support.

"Have you met Di'ari yet," she asks.

"Yeah, she just asked me to help some girl named Chikari with cleanup?"

"That's me," she smiles. "I clean the ships and the hangar for the pilots. Some of the male pilots call me the hangar housewife."

I laugh. "That's actually pretty smart! Do you like cleaning though?"

"I do," she sighs, "but sometimes those pilots can't keep their stations in order to save their lives, and I have to organize them. That takes hours. I could probably wash several fighters in the time it takes me to organize one workstation."

"Well, today I'll help you," I say, extending my hand for a handshake.

She takes it, and smiles. "Thanks."

As the sun sets, I make the climb back to my room, a small smile creeping across my face. It feels good to have worked all day, with Chikari and Di'ari. We laughed while we worked, we talked, and they really began to grow on me. It's unfortunate I'll have to leave next week. I think I'll miss them.

As the sun crosses over the horizon, my eyes drift closed, and evening turns to night.


	4. Chapter 4 - Friends

Chapter 4 - Friends

In the distance, a tall silhouette stands, his hands clenched at his sides. His outline is black, cutting through the scarlet sunset behind him. His shoulders tremble, and I hear the sound of his ragged breaths, gasps for air. He's suffocating, dying.

Suddenly, the sunset changes from scarlet to purple, and another silhouette emerges, this one a woman. She places her delicate hand on his shoulder, and he turns his body to face hers. Gently, she pulls his head to her chest, letting him rest his weight on her, as he clutched her clothing, nearly tearing the fragile fabric. He's breathing softer now, comforted by her arms. His shoulders no longer heave, and he stops squeezing the fabric of her clothes and instead holds her in his arms. She moves her hands to his hair, stroking and playing with it, then tilts her chin down, planting a kiss on his forehead.

He seems to say something, and then kisses her, as the sun sets completely and the sky changes from purple to deep blue, and the stars emerge.

Morning light blinds me again, but I'm less angry about that today. The dream I had last night was a strangely pleasant one.

The people in that dream seem familiar, like I've met them before, though I'm not familiar with any couples, most of my friends on coruscant were Jedi.

Perhaps it's Lux and his new girlfriend.

He deserves to be happy. He's had enough troubles in his life.

I make my way down the stairs at a skipping pace, and make my way to the mess hall. At one table, Di'ari and Chikari wait, Di'ari with her oil-stained nose in a book, and Chikari beaming over at me the moment I step in the room. At another table, Norissa, Brons, and Hoonji talk, slowly eating their breakfast.

I try to avoid eye contact.

Breakfast is a variety of sweet fruits, a grey, grainy gruel, and that blue milk again. I take generous portions of each, and sit down next to Chikari.

She's talking about something or another, I've learned not to think about the details. The few hours I spent working with her yesterday were enough to teach anyone.

I'm facing the door, and I glance quickly at the grays who enter, cataloging each one, and trying not to run into Leon.

Suddenly, my heart drops into my stomach.

Talking in a circle with another group of people, the all too familiar lizard-like body of a Trandoshan stands, his disgusting yellow eyes, and pale green skin giving him the mark of the people who captured me, and forced myself and several younglings to be hunted for sport.

After our leader Kalifa was killed, the three of us who were left barely survived with the help of a Wookie named Chewbacca. The memory makes me shiver again, and I feel like I'm about to throw up. My hands are starting to tingle like they've fallen asleep. I can't breathe.

Chikari suddenly notices, and grabs my hand, shaking Di'ari out of her reading trance, and she looks over at us, disgusted, before her expression changes to fear.

"Help," she yelps before taking my other hand.

I feel a hand on my back, and suddenly I'm pulled from the room. I have no idea where I'm going, I can barely see. My chest hurts, like I'm having a heart attack, and I'm gasping for breath.

"Ahsoka, listen to me," a soothing voice calls. "It's over. You're not there, you're here, with us. Come back to the present! Ahsoka, don't be fooled by the past."

I'm still gasping, clutching at my throat, but my vision begins to clear. A pair of deep brown eyes cut through my vision, fear and determination in them.

"Ahsoka, can you hear me," she asks.

I nod my head, or at least I try to.

"You need to breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth."

"I... I c... I can't," I force out, wasting what air I had in my lungs.

Suddenly I'm wrapped in her arms, and she pulls me onto her lap, stroking my montrals, and hums quietly.

"Breathe," she whispers, soothingly.

My heartbeat slows, and I gradually calm down.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"It's no problem, whispers Norissa, kissing my forehead as I sit back up. "What happened?"

I sigh. "The Trandoshan."

She lets go of me, suddenly. "Do you have something against Trandoshans?"

"Yeah," I reply, "I do. They kidnapped me and several younglings and hunted them for sport. Only myself and two other younglings survived."

She bites her lip. "Oh."

"Just seeing a Trandoshan now brings back memories of shivering in he cold, waiting for sunrise to come, and dreading that dawning. It makes me remember holding Kalifa in my arms as she died right in front of me, and the face of their leader, whose son I accidentally killed, and for that bore a terrible grudge against me, and nearly killed me."

Norissa looks at me, her eyes filled with sadness for me. Again, she pulls me into her arms, rubbing my shoulders. "It's okay, Ahsoka. Kraas won't hurt you."

I nod, wiping my tears away.

She smiles at me, putting her hand on my thigh. "You can always talk to me if you ever need some help again."

"Thanks."

"What was that all about?" Asks Di'ari, with several screws sticking out of her mouth. "What got into you this morning?"

"Di'ari!" Chikari hits her over the back of the head with an owner's manual. "What a rude thing to ask!"

"No," I say, "it's fine. It's just some PTSD I guess. A panic attack."

"Yeah, I know, but what happened," Di'ari nags.

"I don't want to talk about it," I mumble, focusing back on fixing this compresser.

"it was Krass, wasn't it? He was nearest the door," says Chikari. "You know, Krass is a very nice person, you should get to know him."

"I'm not making a judgement on his character," I protest. "It's just that a few of his people were cold-blooded killers, and I happened to come into contact with them, which kind of shaped my first impressions of his kind in general."

Chikari scoffs. "You can't generalize!"

I slam my tools and the compresser onto the workbench next to me, hard. "I don't need any advice from you."

I storm out of the room, my anger flaring up in my cheeks. How could she? I thought she understood.

I round a corner too quickly, and feel my weight fall out from under me. Suddenly, I'm on the floor, a bad ache surging through my thigh and ankle.

"Agh," I choke, before tears rush to my eyes again, and spill over.

"Ahsoka," a familiar voice calls.

"Hoonji," I croak, "help me up?"

He bends down and picks me up in his arms, and starts marching off with me.

"I can walk," I protest, but he keeps carrying me. "Let go!"

"Not until we check your ankle, that looked like a bad fall."

I sigh, taking note of his stubbornness. He smiles at me, then looks back at the room ahead of him.

"Brons doubles as the medical officer here, as well as our highest ranking military officer. He'll have you fixed up in a jiffy."

I'm sitting atop the cold metal table, my ankle now throughly wrapped, as Brons checks my vitals. It takes longer than I'm used to, but I try to be as patient as possible.

"I know what you're thinking," he says.

"What?"

"You're thinking about how much more efficient it would be to have a medical droid instead of an actual doctor here."

I nod. "I just don't understand why anyone would prefer to keep the doctor. It's within everyone's capabilities to make mistakes, but if you're programmed not to, then that's not a risk."

"Maybe so," he sighs, "but we as a group can't afford to buy and keep a medical droid running. It's last maybe a year, and then we'd have to go back to the basics. Besides," he laughs, "I'm better than any medical droid you can buy."

I laugh. "That's pretty high praise for a runaway Jedi. Prove it."

He grins. "I promise your ankle will be better before you leave. I just need to get the assistant and Norissa in here to check on you and you can go."

"Thanks, doc," I say, saluting him and laughing.

"Lemme just get the assistant," he laughs, leaving the room.

I'm suddenly repulsed by the individual who enters.

His scaly green skin resembles that of a large snake or lizard, his eyes the same shade of golden yellow as the eyes that stared me down in the forest all that time ago.

"Ill kill you," it screams. "You killed my son!"

All at once, my heartbeat quickens, my breath rushes away from me, and my vision blurs.

"Norissa," shrieks Krass, panic evident on his voice.

The greenish-yellow blur before me must be Norissa, as she takes my hand and tries to calm me down.

"It's okay," she soothed, "it's just Krass. He's not going to hurt you."

"K-Kalifa... Trandoshan... Dead... M-M-murder," I stutter, my words scraping their way out of my mouth. I can't breathe. My shoulders heave and tremble.

"Krass," Norissa says, "I need you to help me?"

"How," he yelps.

"I need you to hold her hand."

I shudder at his touch, the scaly, rock-like skin making contact with mine, and my vision goes black. I feel Norissa wrap her arms around me, she pulls my head to her chest, and whispers calming words.

"It's okay, it's okay. You're safe now."

My vision comes back slowly, still blurry. I can make out the dusty color of Norissa's shirt, and the green complexion of Krass. I can feel his heartbeat now, pounding against my own, as my breath slows. He squeezes my hand, as if he's pulling me out of my panic attack.

I can make out his face now, his soft green scales, his kind eyes, and his mouth, down turned with worry.

"Ahsoka," calls Norissa. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah," I mumble. "Yeah, I can hear you."

My visions returns to normal, and I watch as joy returns to Krass' face as he realizes I'll be okay.

"Ahsoka, I need you to stay here for a minute," Norissa says. "Krass, keep an eye on her for me."

Krass lets go of my hand, and then moves away.

I take a deep breath.

"You were kidnapped by the hunters, weren't you?"

I whip my head to look at Krass. "I was. Do you know about them?"

"I was taken there, though, not as a victim. My father was a hunter. I watched him kill many Jedi."

"But, weren't you a Jedi?"

"Not in his eyes," he sighs. "I had to run away in order to complete my training."

Silence falls between us, as we begin to understand each other.

As I scale the stairs to my room, Chikari shouts up at me.

"Ahsoka, wait!"

Reluctantly, I stop as she makes her way up after me.

"Ahsoka, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what," I snap.

"I'm sorry for losing my temper at you. I don't know what it's like to live through a war, and I dorm know what it's like to be taken away from the people I love. I want to make it up to you and try to understand you before you go."

I smile. "Chikari, I shouldn't have gotten angry at you over something you couldn't control. You didn't understand, and I should have just calmed down and reconciled before I stormed off. I'm sorry."

Chikari is visibly relieved. "So, friends?" She extends her hand to me for a handshake.

I hesitate. I don't usually make these kind of commitments to people I've just met.

Finally, I take her hand.

"Friends."


	5. Chapter 5 - The Silent Hills

Chapter 5 - The Silent Hills

The week passes in mundanity, but I spend my extra time with my new companions. Chikari is always quick to join me when we go to the mess hall, and Di'ari, Norissa, Hoonji and Brons join us soon afterwards, glad to add a few new friends to their social groups.

Krass and I exchange nods as we pass in the halls, but we never speak. We are like spirits, never touching, but understanding one another in ways nobody else can comprehend. I stop having panic attacks around him, but my heart rate always increases in the slightest when I see him, and I feel my palms getting sweaty.

Finally, the time comes to say goodbye.

I pack what small reminders I have of this place into my belt, and put on the jacket that Brons gave me. It's thick, and reflects heat off of it and reflects body heat back to you when the sun goes down. On the sleeve, an embroidered striped pattern glitters gold. The backpack I brought is still full of food packets, only used one or two. I sling it over my shoulder and re-fasten my sabers to my belt. During the week I had no reason to have them on my person, so I left them upstairs quite often.

Chikari waits for me at the bottom of the stairs, tears in her eyes. Before I even set my other foot on the floor, she wraps me in a suffocating hug.

"I'm going to miss you, Ahsoka Tano," she weeps.

"It's okay," I reassure her, "I'll be alright on my own."

Just then, Hoonji, Brons and Norissa emerge from the meeting room to the right of me. All three of them have their weapons secured to their belt.

"You didn't think we'd let you go without saying goodbye, did you?" Brons quickly joins the hug, making it a group embrace as the other two join as well.

"Well isn't this just precious," Di'ari smirks, sarcasm on her voice. "We all came by to say goodbye." She stands in the doorway of the meeting room to my left. She's got an owner's manual in her hands, but she has her weapon strapped to her hip as well.

Leon emerges from the meeting room on the left, a dead anger lingering in his eyes as he looks at me and my friends. "It is time to leave," he says, his voice monotone.

"Wait," a man's voice yells. "I want to come as well!"

Krass races out of the hangar, his weapon on his belt.

"We're coming, too," says Brons, gesturing at my friends.

"We all grabbed our weapons, so we're all coming, whether you want us to or not," Norissa says, staring into Leon's eyes in protest.

Leon raises his hands in surrender. "All right," he says, "you can come. But your fate is on your own hands."

"Fine, then let's get going," Di'-ari nags.

Leon nods, and opens the sliding mechanical doors with the flick of his fingers.

Outside, the sandy sea expands, the harsh sunlight reflecting off the great waves of sand, blinding us for a moment. The pale blue sky extends over the ripples of sand, and tricks our eyes, giving us the illusion of many oasises, hiding just behind a wake of sand or under that hill of dust. The sun beats down like fire blown from a performer's mouth, flaring and growing more and more powerful.

"You should be off the planet by noon," Leon says as we venture out.

I wipe the beads of sweat trailing down my face as we trudge through the sand. The scalding wind attacks my body, the heat nearly unbearable. Every hour we draw closer to the hub of Jakku, the small trading village.

Chikari walks next to me, her weapon in her hand. It's a simple lightsaber, no flashy bits or extra blades, just a normal saber, but it's been through its own fair share of skirmishes in its time. Chikari smiles happily, chatting my ear off as we walk along. Di'ari keeps her weapon close, a two handed saber, with a point of durasteel on the bottom for moments when the blade is too far away from her assailant. It's sharpened to a point, and also looks like it might function as a screwdriver from time to time.

Leon uses his saberstaff handle from time to time to make his way up the crest of a hill, his saber wrapped in white and grey-stained cloths and linen, in long strips which cover the handle from top to bottom.

Suddenly, someone screams.

We all turn to find who screamed and what they were screaming at, and find Norissa, saber drawn, staring down a battalion of droids, her heart pounding out of her chest. She's breathing too quickly, terrified. She's never seen real battle.

"Norissa, get back," I yell as I leap forward to protect her, drawing my sabers as I fly.

I deflect a few shots, destroying the droids that fired them, as their commander yells Jedi and orders all units to attack us.

"Stand back, Ahsoka," Leon orders.

"No, I'm not letting anyone die," I protest, not shifting or moving for him.

"Ahsoka, I said get back," he commands.

"Absolutely not."

Leon ignites his saberstaff, and where I expected there to be a color of his blade, his saber glows white. No color surrounds the energy beam, just a white glow. He deflects several blasts, and pushes the battalion back, causing a few droids to stumble, but none fall.

"You're not doing anything," I say, hitting several more shots back at the droids, and then pushing the droid battalion, sending several droids careening across the sky, and causing others to fall.

Leon looks at me in dismay.

"You may be right, padawan. I am not strong enough."

"Krass, no," pleads Chikari as Krass bursts through the group, white saber ignited.

"We have to protect the leader," Krass says, before taking a fighting stance and deflecting shots.

Brons nods, igniting his weapon, a saber whip. This, too, glows white rather than any ordinary color.

The rest of the group follows suit, revealing their weapons with white energy beams as well. Hoonji with a saber spear, Di'ari with her two-handed saber, and Chikari with her single handed saber, all joining formation.

As they blast the bolts back, the droids fall, until there are very few left, and it looks as if we may win.

By luck, one shot is missed.

This single bolt of energy passes through our defenses, striking Leon through the shoulder.

Everything is silent for these brief moments as Leon falls to his knees, clutching his shoulder, and coughing up a mouthful of blood.

Krass, enraged by this, steps out a bit too far from the group, and another blast goes right through his heart.

Chikari screams, but I can't hear it.

Everything is in slow motion, Leon falling to the ground, the remainder of my friends racing forward and slicing their way through the droid battalion, and me, falling to my knees next to Leon, shock making me lose my legs. Leon looks at me, tears in his eyes, and I can see he is saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He takes my hand, and brings his other hand to my face, brushing my cheek.

Slowly, my hearing comes back, and I hear his stuttering, failing voice as he draws his final breaths.

"Y-you, Ahsoka, you were, you were always s-stronger. You, you are a much stronger leader than I. T- take, take care of them for me," he pleads. "You, you must, lead them."

His body heaves one last time before he lays still.

Norissa lets out a wail, her voice carrying over the silent hills, piercing me through the heart.

I never cared for this man, in fact, I may be glad that he is dead. But the despair around me in the people I love at his death hurts me, and tears spill over my cheeks, wasting what little water I have in my system.

"What about Krass," I choke.

Chikari barely mumbles an answer.

"He's gone."

And the hills fall silent once again.


	6. Chapter 6 - New Leadership

Chapter 6 - New Leadership

We can't stay here anymore. I have to take them back. I have to lead them. That's what Leon wanted, he wanted me to protect them.

But here they are, all of them devastated by their losses.

And we can't just leave the bodies here. We must do something to honor the people who once lived in them.

Finally, I find the courage to speak.

"Those droids were from an invasion army taking Jakku. We have to get back to the base and regroup. Someone help me carry the bodies, we have to honor the dead."

"What should we do," Chikari murmurs. "They'll take our home.

"We have to get off the planet," I say. "I know this is your home, and you don't want to leave, but I have to protect you now, and this isn't a safe place anymore."

"Nowhere else is safe," says Brons, his voice lost in grief.

"We'll find somewhere to go. Now someone help me."

Brons slings Leon's body over his shoulder, and Hoonji takes Krass, Norissa steadying the body as they walk. Chikari shivers, though it's extremely hot out, and I take her under my arm, kissing her forehead as tears drop from her unblinking eyes. The eyes of a person who just saw their first battle, and their first death.

Nobody was ready for this, though, no one ever is.

The sun will probably set as we make our way back, considering the new speed we are traveling at. The slow steps of a funeral parade are like the steps we take now, unable and unwilling to move quickly to get back before dark. Norissa and Chikari whimper quietly as we walk, and Di'ari almost shutting down completely, save for the rhythmic steps she walks, her breath completely silent, her eyes blank.

This isn't how it was supposed to be.

We finally make it back to the hideout well after dark, and the bodies are stiff by now. Brons opens the door, and I direct him to place the bodies in Leon's room, while I go and notify the rest of the grays. He nods, his face grim, and Hoonji and Norissa follow him, Norissa shedding one final tear. Di'ari finally wakes up from her stupor, and guides Chikari off to bed, before disappearing for the night.

I climb over the bar, finding the intercom. It says if I don't press any buttons, it'll transmit through the whole building. I pick up the receiver and begin my speech.

"Attention, everyone. My name is Ahsoka Tano, and today I was supposed to leave Jakku. I was escorted by our leader; Leon, and Krass, the medical assistant, among others. Our group was attacked by an invasion of droids intending to capture Jakku as a Separatist base. During our defense, both Leon and Krass were killed. Before he died, Leon asked me to take his place as the leader of the Grays. As you know, my job is now to protect you. For our collective safety, we must leave Jakku as soon as possible. Pack up your belongings, and tomorrow, we will take what ships we have, and set out to a new destination, one not yet involved in the war effort. Do not stay here on Jakku, you will be killed by the droid army. It is safest and wisest to flee."

At first, the hallways are silent, a somber moment as the residents realize that their beloved leader is gone. Then, all hell breaks loose, as the Grays realize they have so little time to leave.

Beings rush past me in a mad stampede of panic, and the staircase is so crowded, one can hardly see through the bustling mass of individuals. Children hold their mother's hands, unaware of the eminent danger. And all the while, the adults wear a somber expression, still not fully believing that their master is dead.

I cross my arms and bite my fingernails, a nervous habit I have when I'm stressed.

I try to breathe smoothly, and calm myself down, but it's no use, and I'm not sure what I'm doing with myself. I should be getting ready, too, although I already have all my things.

I hop over the counter, and move into the mess hall, looking for things we should be taking with us. I find a few blankets moved from the sitting room, and roll them up as tightly as I can, before moving to the sitting room and rolling up the blankets and carpets there. If we bring them, we won't have to worry as much about warmth. As flustered people exit the stairs with cases and bags under their arms, I check their rooms for extra blankets, and tear the extra piece of fabric from their windows, telling them to load their things into their ships, and sleep in the sitting room tonight.

By the time I finish with the last room, my arms are tired from ripping the fabric off of its bolts, and I can barely stand to carry the stack of rolled up blankets and rugs. I stumble down the stairs like I've had too much to drink, nearly dropping the delicately stacked rolls. At the bottom of the stairs, it's surprisingly quiet, but only until I turn into the sitting room. The hubbub of people talk loudly, nervous tension filling the room.

I step through the door jamb, and all the attention turns to me. Quiet whispers and their eyes tell me that they're not exactly impressed.

I cross to the pile of blankets, and stack the blanket rolls there, before snatching one and moving to one empty corner of the room and wrapping myself in the blanket. Their eyes slowly turn away.

One little girl gets out of her parents arms, and fearlessly walks up to me.

"Are you the new leader," she asks. She's only about five or so, but she understands that Leon isn't coming back.

"Yes, I am," I reply, sitting more upright.

"Leon used to tell stories to the kids whenever something scary happened. Could you tell a story?"

I smile. "Of course."

She sits next to me, but I move my blanket and she sits between my legs.

"Once upon a time, there were five young Jedi," I begin, and other kids start to notice and join us. "These little Jedi were younglings, but we're just about to become padawan. There was one mission left to do."

I tell the story of my five younglings, the story of their time on Ilum, gathering their crystals, and the time afterwards, when I was captured by pirates and they came to save me.

The children beam up at me, smiles on their faces, and wonder in their eyes. It's amazing how the story of five little younglings I met on downtime from the war can inspire these children so much.

As the hours grow late, the children begin to fall asleep, but the older children who are still awake insist that I finish the story. Eventually, all the children have fallen asleep, and I'm left with a pile of sleeping children.

I smile as I move to go to sleep, but suddenly I'm stopped.

"You knew those kids, didn't you?" One of the children's parents looks over at me from the opposite side of the room. I realize that the children weren't the only ones listening to the story.

"Yes. I did. I was there for the whole story. I took the kids to Ilum and I was the one captured by pirates."

The woman nods, committing this to memory before she turns away, leaning into her husband's arm as she drifts off to sleep.

I nod back, looking at the other adults still awake. Then I readjust again, and close my eyes.

I quickly drift off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7 - K-17

Chapter 7 - K-17

The morning comes too soon, and we must load everyone onto a ship. I take a few others to my ship in the square, to free up some extra space. These people don't talk to me, and I don't talk to them.

Once we make it out of Jakku's atmosphere, I have to lead the fleet to another base. I have a place in mind, it's too small to be considered a concern to either side of the war, and it's off the beaten trail. It's rockier than Jakku, but it'll do.

K-17 is just a small desert planet, but a colder planet than Jakku. There's more rocks, and a small section is farmable.

The ships make contact with the rocky ground, and shudder from the temperature and atmosphere change. It will take a few weeks for the ships to run properly here, but until then they can be used as living quarters until we build a base. The children stay inside the ships while the adults come out and look around. Nearby this landing spot is a large hole in the ground, connecting to catacombs and tunnels which could be used as protection.

The men begin work on excavating the small tunnels and the rooms of the catacombs, while the women sew and affix fabric doors over the opening. A large group of women begin using the window covers as a new drape to cover the large mouth of the chasm, and tomorrow, we'll affix parts of it to the rocky ground. That way we have more protection from the sandstorms.

Days pass into weeks, and as we plod along, our hearts grow more hopeful, as lights are wired, rooms are furnished, doors are hung and eventually move to more sturdy doors. All the doors leading from the chasm are now sealed by metal sliding doors, bought with the money I received from selling my com-link. The interior doors are changed from fabric to wood, and the floors are slowly being beaten into hard stone, flat and uncomfortable, but better than dust. There are more rooms here, but no place to store the ships. Eventually, we'll have to excavate another area with a small opening to launch ships from, but until then, we just have to hope nobody steals them. Our small fighters can fit in the chasm, but our larger frigates and passenger ships won't.

Even so, our new home is warm and safe, and nobody will bother us here. The heat from the planet's core keeps the chasm warm during the nighttime, and our new canvas cover keeps the heat out during the day.

And we live this way for several months.

I wake early this morning, hoping to catch some breakfast and go out to the market for some supplies. The winding halls of the catacombs are confusing, but we've been here long enough for me to memorize how they work. The mess hall is just adjacent to the chasm opening, sealed by sliding metal doors during the night. My room is a few levels up, just next to the only entrance, a long winding staircase that travels down the side of the chasm to my floor, and then down the side of the walls until the bottom floor.

Waiting in the mess hall are Chikari and Di'ari, eating their breakfast and chatting. Next to Di'ari is another owner's manual for a different ship, she finally put it down for a moment. Chikari gushes about something or another, and Di'ari responds with appropriate nods, even though she's not really absorbing any of the conversation.

"He was so nice, Di'ari, I wouldn't have been able to get that in my room without his help."

"Without whose help," I ask.

"Kronos," Chikari chirps. "He's this ultra-nice human pilot. He looks really scary, but he's super nice." She beams over at me.

I laugh. "Sounds like you've got a cru-"

"No, she doesn't," Di'ari interrupts. "It's just a friend."

I glance over at Di'ari, puzzled. "How do you know?"

"Because," Di'ari snaps, "all the boys who hit on her don't really care about her!"

Chikari gasps. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... Whatever," she mumbles, snatching up her book again. "I'm going to read in my room. You two can go without me." She storms out of the mess hall, book in hand, and a frown on her face.

"What do you think that was all about," Chikari says.

"I don't know," I say, "but we'd better get to the market sooner than later."

We have to fly to the market, it's on the other side of the planet. Chikari goes over a list of what we need.

"Priority number one is a new generator, the one we took from Jakku doesn't really work here. Then it's light fixtures and wire. Then charging station equipment, and then we can think about sheet metal for the new hangar."

"Ok," I say, "but I don't think we can find all that at this market."

"That's okay." Chikari sits down next to me, and folds her arms. "Don't you think Di'ari was acting strange, though?"

"She was just angry," I say. "She didn't mean what she said."

"Oh, I know. But what made her so angry?"

I pause. "You are very close friends, Chikari. Maybe Di'ari doesn't want to lose you to some guy."

"Maybe you're right," she says.

We return late that day. With us we have a new generator; large enough to power two of our bases, and for the right price, as well as several light fixtures and seven coils of wire.

The builders wait eagerly for the new supplies, and we carry them down triumphantly. One builder snatches the generator from me, another; a coil of wire, another; a light fixture.

"Ahsoka, there he is," Chikari gasps.

I turn my head to look where she's looking.

She's right, he does look menacing. His arms are thick as tree branches, and long tribal tattoos run down his sleeves. But I'm his face he wears an endearing smile. Chikari waves at him, and he waves back, looking only at her.

They're completely smitten with each other.

I laugh, handing the last things to the two closest builders to me.

"You should talk to him," I say.

"Do you really think so," she says. "He probably doesn't want to talk to me."

I laugh. "He definitely wants to talk to you. Look, everyone else is leaving, but he's not."

She giggles. "Yeah, I guess."

She skips her way down the stairs and over to him, and I can't hear what they're saying anymore. She rocks back and forth on her feet, clasping her hands together behind her back, and occasionally brushing her hair out of her face with one hand. I can't help but smile.

I walk back to my room, confident.

In front of my door, Di'ari waits, arms folded, leaning against the door.

"Where's Chikari," she asks.

"With Kronos," I say. "You're wrong, they really do like each other."

She rolls her eyes. "It'll pass in a week."

I frown. "What's your problem with Kronos?"

"I don't have a problem with him," she snaps. "Whatever." She turns to leave.

"Whatever your problem is, you'd better sort it out soon. Chikari isn't appreciating the attitude."

She flips me off as she walks off.

I slam the door to my room, frustrated. I take the pillow off my bed and scream into it, trying to relieve my anger at Di'ari. What is her problem?

I flop onto my bed, covering my eyes with my wrist, and realize I still haven't eaten since breakfast.

I run down to the mess hall and grab some food, finding Kronos and Chikari sitting together. I would join them, but I don't want to bother them. Instead, I take my plate up to my room and tell myself to take the plate down in the morning.

I try to move as quickly as I possibly can through the halls, without spilling the food, and eventually end up looking down more than I should.

Whump.

The plate clatters across the floor, my food spilling all over the ground and whoever it is I just bumped into.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention," I say, quickly picking up the plate, which now has a sizable chip down the side.

"It's no problem," he says, wiping the food off his jacket. "I was actually just looking for you."

I look up at him, not sure what he means.

Hoonji smiles and helps me stand up straight.

"Can I walk you to the mess hall?"

"If you'd like," I say, confused.

He extends his arm, and I take it so he doesn't look like a total dork.

"Hoonji, what is this about?"

He laughs. "You dropped your supper, I'm coming with you to get a new one. I'm trying to be a gentleman."

I shake my head. "Of course. Thanks Hoonji."

He stays with me, dropping me off at my room when I'm finished my meal, wishing me a good night and saying that he'll see me in the morning.

I close the door politely, and immediately collapse against it.

That was the single most strange thing he has ever done. That beats out carrying me to the medical bay when I sprained my ankle.

I flop, face first onto my bed, my eyes wide open.

What is going on?


	8. Chapter 8 - Confrontation

Chapter 8 - Confrontation

The next morning arrives uneasy, like the nausea that hits when something goes wrong, or when you know you're in trouble.

I toss over in my bed, checking my clock.

I'm supposed to be going out to buy more parts today, with Chikari and Di'ari, but I'm dreading Di'ari's attitude and the awkward conversation from Hoonji, who will surely be waiting for me.

I can't just ditch them, so I throw on some different clothes, loose and comfortable, rather than putting any effort into my battle clothes. Besides which, we never get attacked anyway.

The moment I step through the door, Hoonji is waiting for me. He smiles, and extends his arm to me again.

"Can I walk you to breakfast?"

"I'll be fine, Hoonji. I have to get going soon anyway. Di'ari and Chikari are probably waiting for me anyway."

"Di'ari, yes," he says, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "but not Chikari. I'm partners with Kronos, so I switched with her today."

 _Oh no._ "That's great," I say, half smiling, half grimacing. "All the more time for us to hang out!"

"If you like, I can do this more often," he says, excitedly.

"How about this stays just a special occasions kind of thing," I say, hoping he won't ever do this again.

"Sounds like fun," he says, snatching my hand.

I tense up, a little deterred by the sudden contact. I sort of smile at him, but it's not very candid.

He smiles back anyway, and we walk together to the mess hall.

Di'ari has an owner's manual again, and she's so invested in it she's barely touched her breakfast.

"Hey, Di'ari," I nag, "you should eat your breakfast."

"One second," she snaps, sipping her glass of blue milk.

I rub my forehead. My head is pounding like a drum.

 _Relax, Ahsoka, this is just one day. At least I have Di'ari._

"Hoonji, what are you doing here?" Di'ari finally puts her book down, and notices the Rodian.

"I switched with Chikari for the day," he says, stuffing some breakfast in his mouth.

"Isn't your partner Kronos," she asks, jealousy in her voice.

" _What_ is your problem with Kronos," I demand.

"It doesn't matter what my problem with Kronos is, Ahsoka. You can go by yourself today!" She slams her book closed, and storms out again.

"I guess that just leaves the two of us," Hoonji says, delighted.

"Yeah, I guess," I say, not even putting on a fake good mood anymore.

He ignores my foul mood, and happily finishes his breakfast.

He creeps me out the entire time we're at the market. He's always grabbing my arm, and holding onto me so he doesn't "lose" me. I can't get a moment's peace from him.

He smiles and laughs the whole day, and ends up buying me a new headpiece to replace my old one from my padawan years. It's shaped with sharp edges, and throws the traditional triangular Togrutan design out the window. He insists that it looks great on me, and that the trinket didn't cost him very much. I have my doubts.

I come home more exhausted than I've ever been, and make the slow descent to the mess hall, items promptly being taken from me as I pass.

I emerge through the doors of the mess hall, Hoonji trailing behind me, trying to grab my hand, but I'm moving too fast for him to catch me.

"You can't trust him!"

Di'ari stands over Chikari, her arms folded, her facial expression tense.

"That's none of your business, Di'ari," Chikari argues. "I don't see what your problem is! He's a nice guy!"

Surely, they're fighting over Kronos again. That's when I notice a new and shiny necklace around Chikari's throat. They must be dating now, and that's what made Di'ari angry.

The other people in the hall look over at me to to break it up, so I sigh and roll up my sleeves, making my way over.

"Calm down," I say. "This is not the place, nor the time to discuss this."

"Lay off, Ahsoka," Di'ari snaps. "Take that hideous necklace off, Chikari!"

Chikari looks offended. "No," she protests. "I like it! And he gave it to me!"

"Oh Kronos, Kronos, Kronos, is that all you ever think about now?"

"What's it to you," Chikari yells.

"What's it to me? What's it to me?" Di'ari screams.

In one fluid motion, she grabs the sides of Chikari's face, and pulls her face to hers, locking her in her arms, and kisses her.

Chikari stands completely rigid, Di'ari melting as she kisses Chikari. Her reaction says that she's been wanting to for a while.

Di'ari's eyes are shut tight, and Chikari's are wide open.

Finally, she has the wits to push Di'ari away.

" _What_ was that?" She screams.

"I'm in _love_ with you, Chikari," Di'ari says, aching to take hold of her again.

Chikari stands there in stunned silence.

Di'ari realizes her mistake now, and covers her mouth.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," she explains. "I didn't mean to-"

"Well, I _don't_ love you," Chikari finally says. "I'm not attracted to girls!"

Di'ari's eyes fill with tears, and she retreats as fast as she can, her tears falling as she runs. She bites her hand, punishing herself for her stupidity and her dumb impulses.

Chikari stands, her body limp, in the center of the room.

She looks over at me, trembling. Tears spill over her cheeks, and her lips begin to quiver.

"I lost her, didn't I?"

Chikari goes off to bed, her head in her hands, accompanied by one of the mothers in the room who witnessed what happened.

Hoonji and I go to Di'ari's room, and listen at the door.

Loud gasps followed by choking sobs are what we hear from inside. Surely, she's laying face down on the bed, expecting to cry herself to sleep.

I knock gently.

"Di'ari?"

"Go away," she sobs.

"I'm coming in."

"Go _away!"_

"Di'ari, I'm not here to scold you," I say, leaving Hoonji out in the hall. "I want to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk," she chokes.

Her eyes are swollen and her nose is dripping.

"Oh, Di'ari," I say, sitting down next to her, and pulling her in for a hug.

She's tentative at first, but then holds onto me with all her might, her shoulders shaking as she cries.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, feeling a catch in my throat.

"I'm such an _idiot_ ," she sobs. "I shouldn't have... I'm so _stupid."_

"You're not stupid, Di'ari," I say. "You just panicked."

She heaves again, another downpour of tears rushing from her eyes.

"You can't let this come between you two."

"I, I can't look at her!"

I look at her, stunned.

"Why not?"

"Because I'll always want her, I'm just, I'm..."

"In love with her."

She sobs again.

"I know how you feel, Di'ari."

"No, you don't."

I nod. "Yes I do. I fell in love with a politician from Raxus. He was a separatist, I was a Jedi. I couldn't have him because... Well, I couldn't. He wasn't mine to have. We met again briefly at a summit on Mandalore, and we ran into some trouble. That's when he kissed me for the first time. When I finally saw him again after that, another girl had replaced me. He wasn't mine, even though I wanted him to be."

She looks up at me.

"That's different from being told that she doesn't love you."

"Oh, I know," I say, holding her hand. "But it's hard to watch the person you care about be with someone else. The only thing you can really do is be happy that they're happy."

"I don't think that's possible."

Hoonji walks me back to my room, helping me up the staircases and hiding me down hallways.

"What a night," he says.

"It sure was," I mumble. "Thanks for taking me to my room."

"Before you go," he says, grabbing my hand, "I want you to have something."

He quickly kisses my cheek.

 _No, no, no._

Visions of Lux flash through my mind, and my head begins to throb.

"Good night," Hoonji smiles, as he trots off to his room.

I give a pathetic wave, and open the door, immediately collapsing on the floor just inside.

This can't be happening.

Not with Hoonji.

This is not okay.

I'm not ready for this.

I crawl my way back to my bed, my brain pounding in my eardrums.

I have to talk to him tomorrow, and knowing him, he'll assume that we're now a couple. I don't really want to be in a relationship with him. He's a nice guy, but I'm not okay with this kind of treatment.

Then there's Lux.

I know I still care about him. I can't move on from him. Much less with Hoonji.

My mind swims in confusion until the hour grows too late for it to function anymore, and I drift off to an uneasy sleep.

Two figures stand against a reddened sky, their hands joined. She's shorter than him, and she turns her head to look at him, her face angled up to look at his eyes. He doesn't turn to her, but she takes her free hand and strokes his cheek, then rests her forehead against his arm.

His shoulders tremble. He looks out at the sunset, struck to the core with fear.

She trembles too, fear that he will be killed in her heart. But she places her trust in him, and prays that he will return to her.

He finally turns to look at her, turning her chin up to look at his eyes. He wraps his other arm around her, pulling her close to him, and gently kisses her. She pulls him to her, not ready to let go.

Then his figure fades, and she is left with her hands extended in the air.

He's gone.

But he will return.

She knows it.


	9. Chapter 9 - Memory

Chapter 9 - Memory

When I go down to the mess hall the next morning, neither of the girls have shown up. On top of that, Hoonji is pestering me again, insisting that since neither of the girls showed up, that he should come with me. I begrudgingly accept his offer, since I need an extra pair of hands anyway. We eat breakfast together, in silence. He finds it natural, I find it awkward. But I don't want to make him feel weird, so I keep quiet.

He's always touching some part of me. Today he graduates to holding my hip, which is thankfully a loose way to hold someone. I can easily run away, if something prompts me to flee, though, just standing here with him is making me want to run.

The day drags on like a lifetime, more than enough time to be standing around with Hoonji like this.

I can't do this.

I'm pretending to be okay with this, when really, I'm mortified that he's always so close to me. I don't want him to touch me anymore, I want him to back off, just for a moment.

We gather the supplies we need, and head back to the base. He insists that he do the heavy lifting. It's obvious that he's more of a pilot than a trooper. A package I had carried with ease, he lifts with great effort. I try not to embarrass him by laughing.

We arrive back at the base, and hand off our supplies.

"Come with me to dinner," he asks.

I nod, only because I'm hungry, and company is something I'll be getting from him, anyway. I expect him to take me to the mess hall, but instead he takes my hand, and guides me down the catacomb halls.

"What's going on," I ask, trying not to sound like I'm freaking out.

"My room has a kitchen, I thought I'd make you something. It beats out the cafeteria food." He smiles, pulling me closer to him.

His room is pretty much on the other side of the base from my room, and several levels down. It's cozy, and dark. Something that smells delicious is cooking in the kitchen, and his painfully small table is set perfectly, knives on the right, and forks on the left, not just set on the plate like they do it in the mess hall back home.

He pulls out a chair for me, and goes to the kitchen to grab whatever he had been cooking.

"It's been in the slow-cooker all day," he says, brandishing an ovular box made of stainless steel and ceramic, with a flat glass lid. He sets it down proudly, and lofts the lid. A small plume of steam escapes, and the smell of freshly cooked meat fills the air.

"You can... Cook, Hoonji?"

"Most certainly," he says. "I cooked more often when I was a Jedi, but I enjoy doing it from time to time."

I smile, eager to taste his concoction.

The flavor erupts in my mouth, and I feel a wave of nostalgia. I used to eat like this back home.

I feel homesick, for those dinners we used to have at the senator's flat, with my master and Obi Wan. Padmé would proudly present her meal, which she cooked for the heck of it, and serve it to us. I remember Anakin always looking at Padmé for an extra long moment whenever she said she wanted to have dinner with us.

I miss them so much.

We finish dinner, and I compliment Hoonji's skills. He gratefully accepts my thanks, with a smile.

"Would you care for a drink?" He presents me with a glass of something deep reddish-purple in color.

"I shouldn't," I say, finding it hard to resist the temptation.

"Oh come on," Hoonji urges. "Just one drink."

"Alright," I say, taking the glass.

It tastes sweet at first, and then sort of sour and bitter at the same time. When I swallow, it burns down my throat.

"What is that," I ask.

"It's called Alcohol," Hoonji answers. "It tastes awful, but it makes you want more, doesn't it?"

He takes a few sips from his glass, and I mirror him, trying not to seem strange.

We move to the small loveseat he has propped against the wall, and finish our drinks.

He pour me another, and when we finish those, he pours another.

By the time I'm halfway through the second drink, I begin to feel dizzy, like my head is spinning. I can't help but laugh at everything he says, even though I genuinely don't know what he's talking about.

Suddenly, he puts his hand on my thigh, and leans close to me. I feel a rush of heat, embarrassment, and something else I can't describe.

Hoonji grins, and leans even closer, about to kiss me.

His lips make contact with mine, and I'm thrust into a world of darkness.

Memories and visions rush through my mind, memories of silhouettes, ones I can't make out. I hear a voice, one that sounds familiar, and strange at the same time. He's calling out my name, and it echoes in my ears.

Suddenly, his face appears in my mind.

Lux Bonteri, the first boy I fell in love with.

No.

My hands buzz with something like static charge as my body temperature rises. I push Hoonji away from me, and find that his hands have strayed away from my thigh to more... Compromising places.

"No, Hoonji," I say. "I can't do this."

I straighten my clothes, and rip the tiara from my montrals, throwing it on the table.

"Ahsoka, wait," Hoonji begs, reaching for my hand.

"I can't," I say. "I'm in love with someone else. I can't be with you, at least, not like this."

"I understand," he says, his face dropping as he realizes his mistake. "I shouldn't have forced myself on you, I'm sorry."

I stop, if only to let him finish.

"Take the tiara, anyway," he says. "Don't think of it as a gift from a guy who wants to go out with you, but a gift from a friend."

"I... I don't know if I can," I stutter.

"Take it," he says, putting it back in my hand, and curling my fingers around it.

I nod, and leave his room.

I find it hard to walk, and I stumble over my feet as I walk back to my room, finding especially hard to scale the stairs.

When I finally get to my room, I collapse on the bed, letting my wrists fall over my eyes. I feel a heave in my chest, and suddenly, tears spring to my eyes.

I miss home.

I want to see Lux again.

My breath comes in ragged gasps, and I whimper as I cry, the hot tears streaming down the sides of my face. I hiccup and gasp, memories of the people I had loved so much running through my head in a blur.

Anakin.

Obi Wan.

Padmé.

Rex.

Lux.

I can't help but let out a yelp as Lux's face flashes through my mind.

I cough, and roll over, making my way up to my pillow. I curl up, like a child in the womb, my hands over my eyes.

I can't go on like this.

I need my friends.

I awake the next morning late. My head pounds, and when I lift my head I feel like I'm spinning. I feel sick, like I ate something rotten last night. I run to the bathroom, and throw up a yellowish liquid. The room spins, and my eyes droop.

Ugh.

I lay on the bathroom floor for a while, staring up at the ceiling, until the room stops spinning.

When everything stops, I finally stand up, and grab a glass of water from the sink. The cold water makes my stomach calm down, and I drink another glass just for safety.

When I feel steady, I go downstairs, hoping to get something to eat from the mess hall.

In the mess hall, Di'ari sits at one table, a book in front of her. Periodically, she glances over at Chikari and Kronos, who sit together on the other side of the room.

Breakfast, or rather, lunch, is just as grey as my jacket. The flavor is boring and bland, completely the opposite of the meal I had last night.

As I sit there, Hoonji walks in, his hand clutching his forehead. He looks over at me, his eyes squinted, and waves. I wave back, looking down as quickly as I can. Thankfully, today he doesn't sit with me.

Just as I'm getting up, Di'ari notices me, and runs towards me.

"Ahsoka,"she calls, "where have you been?"

I'm taken aback for a moment. "We're you waiting for me?"

"Yeah, I thought you might want some company on your trip."

I smile. "Sorry, I slept in. Something... Happened last night."

She looks at me, puzzled. "Did it involve Hoonji?"

"Er-"

Suddenly, the alarm goes off, and the whole base is thrown into a panic. The alarm announces an intruder, and the woman in the watchtower calls me to the surface. I rush up the stairs to my room, snatching my lightsabers from my room as I climb the stairs. When I step out into the sunlight, I'm greeted by the blinding light, and a dark figure. She stands with her hood pulled across her face, the dark brown fabric blowing in the wind.

"Well, if it isn't Skywalker's obnoxious little pet," a familiar raspy voice exclaims.


	10. Chapter 10 - Enemies

Chapter 10 - Enemies

"If it isn't the hairless harpy," I respond, a mixture of happiness and dread rushing over me.

She grins, her facial markings shifting to accommodate her expression. She rarely ever smiles. She walks closer to me, her hand extended for a handshake. I take it, and lead her inside, descending into the rocky chasm we call the pit.

"It's been a while, Ventress," I say, guiding her down the staircase.

"You seem to be doing well 'on your own,'" she says, gesturing to the mass of people, a sarcastic expression on her face.

"Welcome to the Grays," I say. "Most of the people here are runaway Jedi, I think, if you join us, you'll be first runaway Sith to join us."

"Don't jump to any conclusions, child. I'm here for a quick recharge and refuel, and then I'll be off again. The bounty hunter business is booming for me lately."

"I'm surprised anyone would hire a bog witch like yourself."

She looks at me, a spark of anger and resurgence of anger in her eye. "Don't push it, youngling, I may not have my sabers, but I can still kill you."

"You'd have to answer to all my allies of you did," I say, gesturing to the pit.

She nods, biting her lip. "Excuse me. I'm a little riled up. Times have been hard lately.

I smile tentatively. "Can you promise a truce?"

"I thought the old one was still in effect," she smirks.

I nod. "Alright. But now that truce has to extend to all the people here. You can't attack any of them, under any circumstances unless they attack you first. And they will be under the same orders."

She nods. "As long as I'm here."

I set her up in a room relatively close to mine, hoping that if she leaves during the night, she won't disturb too many people.

All throughout the remainder of the day, people give us odd stares, pointing out her dark clothing, and her sullen expression as a mark of the Sith. People avoid me as long as I'm with her, so I stick around her, pretending to just be a caring host. She doesn't really notice, as most people didn't get very close to her normally.

Her mood never really improves, but then again, she's never happy.

We move to the mess hall for a quick meal, hoping to just get in and get out. The mess hall is the most used room in the base, and it's hard to find a place where we can just talk or stay out of view.

"You should take some extra," I tell her.

"Are you trying to fatten me, child," she asks sarcastically

"No, but I bet you haven't eaten in a while," I reply, grinning.

"Thanks but no thanks. I'll be fine with whatever I've got."

I frown. "How long has it been?"

"How long has what been?"

"How long has it been since you last ate?"

"A few days, perhaps," she says.

"Are you sure" I ask, "that you don't want our help?"

"Youngling, if I didn't want your help, I would have never come here in the first place."

I shake my head. "I can't see why you won't accept my help, then."

Ventress sighs. "Give it a rest, girl."

"I have a name, you know," I snap.

Ventress turns to me. "All creatures have a name."

"So call me by it," I bark.

"I'd rather not," she says, coolly.

Just then Hoonji enters the hall, and spots us.

"Ahsoka, get back," he orders.

"Hoonji, wait," I stutter, reaching out to stop him.

He jumps, flipping in the air, his lightsaber drawn.

"Sith," he spits, "prepare to meet your end."

"Your friend seems nice," Ventress scowls.

"How dare you talk to her that way," Hoonji says, his eyes burning with anger.

"Hoonji, leave her alone," I plead.

"I know who you are," Hoonji declares. "You are Ventress, the Sith assassin. You are here to destroy us, to kill our people, and you have deceived our brave leader to believe you are trustworthy. Well, I don't buy it, Sith."

Ventress scoffs. "I have no lightsabers on me, and my blaster is not drawn. It would seem the harbinger of violence in this situations is you, Rodian."

Hoonji yells, swinging his lightsaber at her, but Ventress slaps it away, sending it clattering across the floor.

"If you wish to fight me, fight me on equal terms," she says, provoking him.

He punches her, his fist pushing her jaw back. She kicks his feet out from under him, and as he falls, she kicks down on his face, breaking something. Blood seeps from Hoonji's mouth, but he wipes it away and stands up. He hooks with his right, but she dodges and pushes him with the force, sending him back a few feet. Hoonji snarls, kicking her back, and sending her halfway across the room.

"You are a fool, Ventress. There will be no betrayal against us. I will stop you."

She stares at him with cold eyes. "I have no intention of attacking these people. You, on the other hand, I shall take delight in beating."

"You will not defeat me, Sith."

"I am no Sith," she screams, spit flinging from her mouth as she challenges him, enraged. "I was betrayed by my master, Count Dooku. I was seen as a hindrance to the Sith. My master tried to kill me, and I barely escaped with my life. I learned that day that the way of the Sith is truly corrupt. Therefore I am no Sith."

Hoonji slaps her, and then punches her in the gut. "I don't believe you."

Suddenly, my hands seem to shake with energy and I feel as though my body will burst into flames at any moment.

Ventress collapses to the floor, coughing.

Hoonji uses the force to grab his lightsaber, and ignites it.

"Prepare to meet your end."

Suddenly, I push him back, and few crashes, hard, into the wall. His saber drops from his hand, clattering across the ground, and he collapses down onto the floor, unconscious.

"Ventress," I say, placing my hand on her back. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she spits. "He's a slimo, that guy."

I let out a sigh of relief, and help her to her feet.

"Listen, everyone. This is Asajj Ventress, a gray Sith. She is welcome among us as long as she stays, and she is not to be threatened, unless she threatens you first."

I scan the gathering, meeting the gaze f as many as I can.

"She is a friend, not an enemy. You should find her to be a help, and not a hindrance."

Ventress looks over at me, her mouth slightly open.

"Under no circumstances should a skirmish like this one ever occur, as long as she is with us, and for his actions, Hoonji will be doing extra work. Understand that I am not unwilling to place that same judgement upon any of you, and all of you."

Silence falls, as the Grays stare at me.

"That is all," I conclude. I turn to walk away, before realizing there's something else. "Can someone take Hoonji to the medical bay?"

"Did you really mean what you said," Ventress asks.

She's sitting cross-legged against the wall, and I'm sitting next to her in much the same way. She rests her tray of food in her lap, carefully drinking the soup from the bowl.

"What do you mean?"

She stuffs a piece of bread in her mouth. "I mean, you said I was welcome here."

"Yeah," I say.

She smiles. "It's just, nobody really welcomes me besides the night sisters, but they were wiped out."

I nod my head. "I remember hearing about that. But, honestly, I need you for a different reason."

"Oh? And what's that?"

I suddenly back off, and stuff some bread in my mouth. "It's stupid, really. Just a dumb thing I shouldn't even be thinking about doing."

"From what I've seen," Ventress says, "your ideas are never stupid."

I laugh. "You haven't been around for the stupid ones."

"Well, I'd like to know what this one is."

I scratch the back of my head. "It's really not important. I just," I sigh, "I need to talk to Lux Bonteri again."


	11. Chapter 11 - Onderon

Chapter 11 - Onderon

Ventress smirks at me from the other side of the cockpit. Her smug expression makes me blush, and I try to cover up my embarrassment with anger.

"Shut up," I snap.

"I didn't say anything," she says, her words sweet like candy.

I turn away from her, checking all the dials. I haven't flown in a few days, and it's best to make sure everything is working before I take off. My fuel is full, my hyperdrive is functional, and my steering seems fine, but I'm never really satisfied until I've had a clone mechanic check it. Unfortunately, we don't have any of those.

"I guess this'll have to do," I mutter, starting the ship's engine and letting us hover for a few moments.

"Where did you say we were going, again," Ventress asks, with a smirk.

"To Onderon."

"For what purpose?"

I glare at her. "I'm not saying this again."

She laughs. "I knew you wouldn't. I still think it's funny."

We're flying now, the dusty planet's surface racing by so fast the edges seem to bend.

We break the sound barrier as we leave the atmosphere, and the air around us ripples with the loud snap of the shock.

It's just me and Ventress here, no AWOL Hoonji trying to snap Ventress' neck, no depressed Di'ari sulking in the corner, no bouncy Chikari gushing about her boyfriend. Just the two of us.

I try to ignore the quiet that follows, not wanting to start another conversation, but also feeling incredibly small in the silence. Ventress avoids eye contact with me, but she still wears this smug grin like she's better than me.

Finally, I break the silence.

"We met on an undercover mission," I say.

She turns to me, her eyes glinting with excitement. Her grin spreads into a full out smile, the only one I've ever seen on her face.

"Don't do that," I say, uncomfortable. "You're creeping me out."

"Sorry," she says, closing her mouth and turning away.

"Senator Amidala was trying to fight a bill that would enable the deregulation of the banks. She wanted to see if the separatists would be open to a peace agreement, so she asked me to take her to Raxus. That's where I met Lux."

She glances over at me. "That sounds like a boring trip. Would you not much rather be on some mission with your arrogant master?"

"To tell the truth, I probably would've. But instead, I stuck around, acting as a bodyguard I guess. Lux was the son of the senator's friend, Mina Bonteri. Shortly after the whole thing, there was an attack on the capital, and another on the separatist capital, where Mina was killed. The peace agreement didn't make it."

"It doesn't sound like you could have possibly fallen in love with this boy over the course of a day."

"I didn't," I sigh. "I saw him again after that, at a peace conference again. He was nearly killed by Count Dooku, but I saved him. I wanted to take him to Coruscant, but he had other ideas. Instead, he took me to the Deathwatch with a plan to kill Dooku with their help."

"The plan never would have worked," she scoffs. "I probably still worked under him then."

"Whatever," I say. "Anyway, I learned there how much he really cared about the people around him, and for their feelings and opinions. I guess he swayed me."

She snickers. "The Padawan, corrupted by a politician."

"I know," I sigh. "Seems crazy."

Something tells me I'm not the only one, though. I can't be.

"Anyway, now he's the senator for Onderon. I wouldn't be surprised if he's moved on, though."

"It's worth a try," Ventress says, focusing back on her flying.

Maybe she's right. If I see him one more time, maybe the visions will stop, maybe I'll have some closure and move on. Though, it might be that I'll just want to go back, and I'll never move on.

Is it worth the risk?

We approach Onderon, the small planet densely populated with cities made from sandstone and red rock. We land not far from the capital city, a cloud of sand kicked up by the ship as we land. Red dust clouds our view for a moment.

The capital city; Isis, bustles with people making their way from place to place. To think that just a little while ago, this place was overrun and crawling with battle droids. The streets which were once so dangerous now seem peaceful. The freedom fighters who rebelled against the separatist threat now flaunt their status in the public, wearing an intricate emblem on their arm.

We wear cloaks over our heads, careful not to reveal our identities. Who knows who may be here, and we may not be criminals per se, but we are targets for the Republic. A traitor and a former Sith could bring in quite a bounty, so we need to stay anonymous.

Ventress keeps quiet, as I lead her through crowded marketplaces and busy streets to the capital building. People give us quick glances, and sometimes wave. We wave back, returning the polite gesture.

Finally, we cross through a crowded street into the central square, where a large, raise platform stands, engraved with the markings of the traditional Onderonian people. Guards are stationed at the base of the stairs, and every three steps, and another pair are stationed at the doors to the large government building, which towers above the city. Grandiose columns and beautiful engravings crawl up the side of the walls, which glisten a sort of golden color. We approach the stairs cautiously, and I attempt to talk to the guard.

"Excuse me," I say, "I need to talk to someone who works here, may I just go in, or is there something I have to do first?"

The guard just stares at attention, not flinching, not paying attention to me.

"Great. They're the useless guards," Ventress complains. "Just go in and talk to someone who works there."

I nod at her, then turn back to the guard.

"We're just going to go inside, that's all," I say, cautiously stepping up on the staircase, expecting him to jump me.

He just stands there at attention, doing nothing.

"Come on," I say, waving Ventress behind me.

We cross the long bridge section, and approach the doors, stopping to talk to the guards stationed there.

"We'd like to talk to someone who works here," I explain, "may we go in?"

"Name and reason for visit," the guard to the left of me asks.

"Ahsoka," I say, "and this is Ventress. We're here to talk to Senator Bonteri. I'm a friend of his."

The guard stops me with his hand. "You need special clearance for that."

My heart sinks. "Please, I just need to talk to him, it will only take a moment."

"I'm sorry," the guard says, "it's protocol."

Ventress scoffs. "Protocol. These guards really are useless other than following protocol and standing at attention."

The guard's face turns to a scowl. "It would be good for you to know that speaking to any government official in such a way is a federal offense."

"Oh, did I hurt your feelings," she mocks. "I'm so sorry."

"Excuse my friend," I say, "she's a little agitated right now."

"A little," she says, "I'm aggravated. We came all this way from K-17 just to get turned away from a low-rank door official?"

The guard is really angry now. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to arrest you," he spits. "You and your friend."

"What?"

"It's a federal offense," he argues, grabbing my wrist.

"Let go of me," I protest, anger and frustration building up inside of me, making my hands vibrate again.

Suddenly, the doors open.

"I'll need a copy of bill 17, and something to eat by 03:00 hours." The young senator waves his attendant away, reorganizing his papers as he walks.

Suddenly, we lock eyes.

"Ahsoka?"

Lux Bonteri stares at me, my wrists being held against my will, my companion sparring with a guard behind me.

The sight of him fills my heart with a special warmth, one I haven't felt since before I left the Jedi.

"Lux," I breathe, losing my struggle against the guard.

"What's going on," he asks, his mouth agape.

The guard finally notices that we know each other, and lets go of me, but Ventress still struggles against her guard behind me.

"We, we wanted to visit you," I pant, realizing now that I hadn't been breathing.

He nods to the guards, and the one who had Ventress reluctantly lets go of her.

"Is your master with you?"

"No," I say, "it's a long story."

He looks at me, fear in his eyes.

We walk to his residence, which is only a few blocks away, nestled between a caf shoppe and a small park. He stays unusually quiet, not saying a word to either of us until we come into his house.

He moves to his kitchen, setting out a pot of caf and pulling out a few snacks, and brings them to his living room, welcoming us to come and sit down.

"Who is this," he asks, looking at me, but handing a hot mug to Ventress.

"This is Ventress, she was once an enemy to the Jedi."

He steps back, abruptly.

"She is a Sith turned friend."

He laughs, nervously, and smiles, or at least, tries to, before quickly moving to the kitchen to grab another mug.

"What about the others?"

"You mean my master," I ask.

"Yes."

"I'm not a Jedi anymore," I answer. "I left the order. My master and his men chose to stay, and I don't know where they are anymore."

"Not a Jedi," he asks, shocked.

I nod.

"Then what are you?"

I clutch my mug tightly. "A runaway, I guess. A traitor to the republic. I am neither an enemy, or a friend."

I turn to him, the fire of determination blazing in my heart.

"I am a Gray."


	12. Chapter 12 - Mission

**Author's note:**

 **This is the last chapter I'll publish as often as I have until now, I've caught up with myself in my writing, so it will take more time for each chapter to be released.**

 **Thanks for reading Ahsoka Alone**

Chapter 12 - Mission

Lux offers his guest room and his bed for us to sleep on, insisting that he take the couch. Ventress gladly obliges, retreating to the guest bedroom almost immediately.

Lux wanders around his house now, sort of lost as to what to do. It's easy to see that he doesn't usually have company. He smiles sheepishly at me, grabbing extra bedsheets from a closet in the hall, and undresses his bed. I help him, feeling incredibly awkward in the silence.

Finally, he turns to me, as we finish tucking the last sheet.

"How long are you planning to stay on Onderon," he asks.

"We're not sure," I say. "I do have to go back, the others still need me, but we didn't say when we'd be back by. Why?"

"Well," he says, scratching the back of his head, "I was wondering if you might be interested in accompanying me on a mission."

I smile at the thought. I miss going on missions with my master.

"What kind of mission?"

"A diplomatic outreach mission."

I raise an eyebrow.

"I have to go to Loopis, in the outer rim. I'm trying to make a treaty with the Hutt leaders there, and possibly gain access to their trade routes."

"So you want to go talk to a Hutt leader, and you need some protection?"

"Well, I do have bodyguards," he says, "but I'd prefer your skills over theirs."

I smile.

"If Ventress is okay with it, I'd be glad to."

He grins over at me, his handsome smile making my heart race for a moment.

"So, a Gray?"

"Yes," I say, pursing my lips. "It's... Complicated. But we are the Jedi, the force-wielders who align with neither the light, nor the darkness."

He nods, trying to understand.

"I suppose it's strange. I've never met a Gray before, though it would seem I agree with them more than I do with the Jedi. And yet, I'm inclined not to trust you."

I laugh. "You didn't seem to have a problem trusting me before, when we liberated this planet."

"Now that I'm looking at you, I feel like you're not so bad," he mocks.

I cringe.

"Don't bring that up," I say, feeling my body retract into itself.

"If you say so," he smirks.

Morning on Onderon comes slowly, the sun rising over the horizon, warming the cool night air.

My eyes open, and I realize that I'm not on K-17. It takes me a moment to remember that we came to Onderon. Ventress is already awake, and making as much noise as she can in the kitchen. Lux stands outside the doorway, slack-jawed, watching her tear his kitchen apart.

I take a quick shower, the first real one I've had in months. I scrub the dirt and grime from my body, watching the brown water sink down the drain. When I finish, I step out, wrapping myself in a towel, and use a bit of extra lotion he has sitting on his sink to treat my peeling and cracked skin. It feels like bliss to use civilized objects again. I smile to myself, soaking in the happiness.

When I emerge, Ventress is waiting, immediately taking my place in the shower.

Lux stares over at me, wearing only a towel, and I blush. I rush away to his room, and put on a change of clothes. I find in his closet a dress that must have belonged to his mother. It's a little big for me, but it'll do for now.

Ventress changes after her shower into her bounty hunting gear, claiming it was cleaner than her normal gear.

Lux laughs when he sees us, and insists that he take us to get something else to wear.

A few hours later, we return, myself with a dress embroidered with golden patterns, and Ventress with a tight fitting outfit made for combat. Lux is extremely satisfied with himself, and insists that we pack our backpacks into duffel bags.

"When we get to Loopis, they'll need to know you're with me without me having to tell them," he explains.

"Then why are we wearing such different clothes," I ask.

"I have a cover story ready. Just pray I don't have to use it."

A few hours later, we are flying through the outer rim, approaching Joopis. Ventress is sprawled lazily across the couch in the cargo hold of the ship, while I fly and Lux directs us.

"We should be there in a few minutes, and I'll need to be there for a few days."

"Sure thing, senator," I say, sighing.

"You should probably go change now," he nags. "They'll never buy it if you're wearing warrior clothing."

I let out an audible huff as I hand him the controls.

We make contact with the ground, and Lux orders us into position, taking my arm, and leads us down the loading ramp.

"You look beautiful," he whispers to me, looking down at the sea green and gold embroidered dress be gave me.

I quickly readjust the corresponding headpiece, making sure it's centered.

Waiting for us are several guards, holding various weapons and wearing sour scowls on their faces.

"Wait," one of the guards calls, stopping us. "When we invited you senator Bonteri, you did not mention your companions."

My heart sinks, and I move my free hand to my leg, where my lightsabers are strapped to my thigh.

"Of course, how silly of me," Lux counters. "This is my Fiancée, and my bodyguard. I would never come without them. Necessary precautions."

The guard grunts an affirmation. "I suppose we could prepare another room."

The group turns, leading us through the halls of the extravagant Hutt palace.

"I'm your betrothed, again?"

"That was your idea last time," he says, grinning.

I sigh, and squeeze his arm.

The guards present us with two rooms, one with a double bed for Lux and I, and another for Ventress.

"Thank you kindly for your hospitality," Lux calls as the group leaves, reminding him that the meeting would be the next day at 04:00 hours.

I turn to him once they're out of sight.

"What now? There are probably security cameras all over this place."

"I suppose you'll have to act," Ventress smirks. "You're supposed to be engaged."

I scowl at her, and then back at him.

"Come on," he says, grinning. "It's a great lie."

"There's a security camera over there," Ventress whispers. "No audio, but video."

"You're really stupid," I smile at Lux.

"Good lie," he smiles back, and pulls me close to him.

I feel his lips brush my cheek, and he whispers to me.

"This is all part of the plan."

That night, I lay down before Lux, and try to fall asleep before he does, but I can't. The tension and the butterflies in my stomach keep me from really falling asleep, so I fake it so that he can rest. I hear the click as he flicks off the light, and the rustle of the covers as he curls up next to me, facing away from me at first. I breathe a sigh of relief as i realize he isn't touching me. For twenty minutes, I lay there in the darkness, waiting for sleep to come.

Suddenly, I hear the covers rustle again, and he turns to face me, and wraps his arm around me. His chest presses against my back, and I feel his breathing.

I feel my face begin to heat as hot blood rushes to my cheeks. I feel him plant a kiss on the back of my head, and he whispers something, before I hear the steady breathing of his sleep.

Somehow, I feel my heart beat slow, and a certain warmth rushes over me from his arm.

I love him so much.

My eyes eventually drift closed, darkness clouding my vision as I fall asleep.

I wait outside the meeting room, pacing. Ventress and Lux are inside, Ventress acting as protection while Lux makes his case.

Finally, the group emerges, Lux smiling widely, and Ventress yawning.

"We did it," he says, taking my hip, and sweeping me away with him.

I smile. "That's great, honey!"

Without warning, he kisses me, hard, on the mouth. It only lasts a second, but I feel my breath rush away from me for a moment.

I return the gesture with a quick peck on the cheek, only for the sake of acting.

Maybe a little bit for myself.

"I hope that you will join us tonight," the Hutt leader asks. "We have quite the game collection down in the Casino. I insist that you play with us."

Lux looks like he's about to turn them down, so I answer for him.

"We'd love to!"

Lux looks at me, astonished.

"Wonderful," the Hutt exclaims, clapping his slug-like hands.

Lux smiles at him, hoping to blind the leader from the following conversation.

"I was going to say no," he says to me through gritted, smiling teeth.

"Never turn a Hutt down when they ask you to gamble," I say. "You could end up frozen in carbonite, or worse."

He nods. "I'll make a note of that."

I remove the overdress of my outfit, hoping that using just one of Lux's scarves may make the dress casino appropriate.

The pale blue scarf matches the blue gemstones in my headdress, so I suppose they'll work.

"Wait," Lux says, stopping me before I turn from the mirror. He digs around in his suitcase for a moment, before brining out an intricate golden necklace, and a golden ring. "Wear these."

He clasps the necklace for me, and slides the ring onto my left ring finger, and kisses my cheek.

"Perfect."

"I feel like you're too prepared for this," I say, turning around in his arms.

"Maybe," he says. "But that ring was my mother's, so don't lose it."

I nod, and he kisses me softly, taking my hand and leading me out of the room.

He sports a high-collared blue jacket, embroidered with gold trim and intricate floral designs. The coattails extend to his knees, and the tips are studded with tiny golden squares.

"Are you ready," he asks.

"Not in the slightest," I say, grinning.


	13. Chapter 13 - Games

Chapter 13 - Games

Lux holds me by the waist as we make our way down the spiraling staircase that leads to the underground casino. The Hutt leader waits for us at the base of the staircase, a large smile stretched across his slug-like face.

"Welcome, friends," he says, gesturing to the space behind him.

The entire room glitters with flashing lights and bright colors reflecting light. There are slot machines, large Marirose tables, and a Bluette table with green and red squares that pole through the otherwise boring texture of the table, which is carved from rare Paretia wood.

"Join us," he invites, leading us to his round Marirose table which is trimmed with gold and bright gemstones.

"A drink, sir," a waiter asks, offering us brightly-colored clear liquids in conical glasses.

Lux raises his hand to shop the waiter away.

"Yes, please," I say, taking two glasses and passing one to Lux. "If anyone here offers you something, ask me, or take it."

He nods, understanding that he almost angered our host, again.

The dealer gives us all five cards, and we must make our best score from the cards he gave us, then bet on who has the best score we play several rounds, the evening swiftly turning into nighttime. As the game progresses, we are offered more and more glasses of the strange brightly-colored liquids from the waiter.

Round after round, joke after joke, and stupid conversation after stupid conversation leaves me dizzy, my head spinning wildly, and I find it especially hard to walk. Lux seems to be in much the same position, his feet stumbling below him as he tries to walk.

Finally, our host announces that he will retire, and we are shooed up to our room.

Lux hold onto me for support as we walk back, but I'm not exactly sturdy myself, and suddenly, he loses his balance.

"Whoa," he splutters as be crashes into me, pinning me to the wall.

I groan as my head strikes the wall, and a sharp pain jolts my senses back for a moment, if only to notice how close his face is to mine.

"I'm sorry, darling," he apologizes, helping me stand back up.

I brace my forehead for a moment, hoping the pain will stop for a moment.

"Are you okay," he asks, trying to be concerned, even though surely he's floating right now, like I am.

"I'm fine," I say, hoping to sound normal.

He laughs. "You sound so funny!"

He takes my arm again, leading me back to our room again.

"Hey, wait," I say, trying to stop him.

"But I'm tired," he complains, tugging my hand.

I sigh, and let him drag me along.

Ventress stands out by her door, smirking. She looks directly at our hands, and then at me. Then she winks, before going back into her room and locking her door.

Lux fiddles with the door handle for a moment, but then opens the door, letting it swing all the way open. It makes a loud crash as it strikes the wall, at which he jumps.

"Jeez, you're so jumpy," I say, closing the door.

He laughs, stumbling over to the bed. He collapses, face first into the soft pillows. I join him there, on top of the covers.

He smiles over at me, a big, dorky grin on his face.

"You look so beautiful," he says, looking me up and down.

I slap him with a pillow. "Don't look at me like that."

He chortles, getting up on his hands and knees, and making his way over to me.

"What if I want to?"

"No," I say. "I don't like it."

He laughs, placing his hand on my chest.

"You know, I do like those clothes on you, but I'm sure I'll like them just as much when you're not wearing them."

I blush.

"Stop it."

"No," he says, suddenly swooping down on me.

At first, his lips brush mine gently, but then he presses down, hard, on me, biting my lower lip. My eyelashes flutter closed, the sight of his determined eyes so close to me burned into my eyes.

He pushes through my teeth with his tongue, coaxing me to reciprocate with my own. He adjusts his body so that one of his legs rests between mine, and he moves his hands to the sides of my face, stroking my cheeks. Slowly, carefully, my hands make their way up his back, gliding over the smooth fabric, and my fingers knit into his hair. It's only then that I really kiss him back, a sudden rush of heat racing through my body from my heart to a place in my abdomen.

Lux pulls away, his eyes still closed, his breath ragged and hot.

"Sorry," he says. His voice shifts from the drunken voice he wore before to this voice, which sounds, oddly, pleasing.

"Don't be," I say. What? "It's okay." It's certainly not okay.

"Really?"

"Yeah." No it's not, this isn't how it's supposed to be.

"I really wasn't planning on kissing you like that," he says, running his fingers through his hair.

"I wasn't planning on kissing you back."

"But you did."

"Yeah," I say, biting my lip.

He looks away from me, his cheeks a certain shade of pink that they weren't before.

"I just," he stutters, trying to force the words out. "I, I, I have feelings for you."

For a moment, I am in complete and utter bliss, knowing that he loves me back.

"Lux-"

"Don't answer me unless you're sure," he says, holding up his hand to me. "I don't think I can handle anything else."

"Lux-"

"You have to be absolutely p-"

A moment of anger drives blood to my cheeks, as he stops me again, and I quickly pull his cheeks to me, and kiss him, pulling him down on top of me. He can't hold himself back, and he kisses me back, forcing my mouth open with his. Quickly, his hands find their way under my dress, his fingers brushing against my skin, making me shiver for a moment.

He pulls away for a second, only to kiss me again, trailing his way across my cheek and down my neck. His hand pulls the collar of my dress down, and he kisses my chest, sucking down hard on my skin. His other hand slips under my dress, taking off my lightsabers and resting them on the table next to us.

He suddenly brushes something, his hand gently pressing against a place no one else has touched.

A strange sound comes from me, and he grins.

"I love you," he whispers, kissing me again.

I pull him closer to me again, and he begins to kiss my neck.

I let go, wrapping my arms instead around his waist, as he reaches up and turns out the light.

My memories of the previous night are blurry when I awake to find myself completely naked, with an equally dressed Lux with his arm wrapped around me. My heart pounds in my ears, and a sharp pain thrums behind my eye. Lux lays next to me, peaceful, his shoulders lifting with each silent breath.

His face is so tranquil, his long eyelashes resting against his pale cheeks. I bend over him and kiss him, longing to stay like this, to never go back.

But this is the end.

I have to go back.

He wakes up, his drowsy eyes slowly opening, a goofy smile on his face. I turn away from him, ashamed. I shouldn't have watched him sleeping. He wraps me in his arms from behind, pulling me close to him, and whispering in my ear.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," I say, leaning back into him.

"I slept amazing," he says, turning his face to meet my cheek.

I blush, remembering what we did the night before, and suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed.

"You were excellent," he says, kissing my jaw, and trying to turn my face to his.

I can't say anything, and he takes advantage of my silence, kissing me on the mouth now. His breath is hot on mine, his expression intense. He pulls away, kissing my chin and making his way down my neck.

Suddenly, the door crashes open, and two assassin droid rush in, holding electrostaffs, and tracking us with their glowing red eyes. I yell, Lux moving back, grabbing my lightsabers from the bedside table beside us. I block their strikes, putting myself between them and Lux.

I yell at Lux to run, and Ventress rushes in, wielding her blaster and screeching. She grabs his wrist, and pulls him into the hall, telling him to get to the ship.

"What about Ahsoka," he asks.

"She can take care of herself! Get out of here, pretty boy!"

The assassin droids now fight stronger, and faster, and I begin to lost my breath.

"It's over, Jedi," one assassin droid says in a monotone, automated voice.

Something inside me bubbles up, rage maybe, and my hands vibrate again, the heat coursing through my veins seemingly causing an electric sensation.

"I am no Jedi."

I push him back, and jump, slicing his mechanical head from his shoulders, and hearing the durasteel hit the floor with a clang. I turn then, to the other assassin droid, but find it already destroyed, by a few well placed blaster shots. Ventress looks at me, her mouth hanging open, slightly, and extends her hand to me, beckoning my to come.

I follow her, racing through the hallways in the thin dress I wore last night. Lux waits in the ship's cockpit, the engines already started.

"How did they find out," asks Ventress.

"Surveillance cameras," Lux says. "I noticed them this morning. They watched us last night."

I blush, heat washing over me, as I stand there, mortified.

"They saw more than they needed to, I guess," Ventress grins.

"Why didn't they attack last night?" I say, hoping to change the topic.

"They were too drunk to notice. They mush have noticed this morning, and sent those assassins after us."

Ventress flies the ship the rest of the way back to Onderon, leaving myself and Lux in the cargo bay. We sit together, his hand holding mine. We stay in silence for a while, enjoying the feeling of peace again.

Lux turns to face me, his eyes full of hope and his expression full of love.

"Ahsoka, I want you to join me," he says. "I don't want to lose you again."

I smile. "Lux, I care about you, but I can't. I have the Grays to take care of."

His hopeful expression turns.

"So, you won't come with me?"

"I can't. You could come with me," I offer.

He sighs. "I have my commitments to the senate. I was hoping you might follow me."

"I'm sorry," I say, kissing his cheek.

"I'll never get over you," he says, squeezing my hand.

"Neither will I. The reason I came to see you was to tell you I still cared about you."

He smiles.

"I'll see you around, Ahsoka Tano."

"I hope so, Lux Bonteri."


	14. Chapter 14 - Clarity

Chapter 14 - Clarity

The cockpit is quiet, Ventress and I avoiding eye contact.

A single tear falls from my eye as we leave Onderon. It's hard not to imagine everything I could have had here, with Lux. I could have married him, we could have been happy together. Maybe even had his kids. I would have protected him with my entire being. No one would get past me. But it's all over now, I suppose.

The Grays need me more.

We approach K-17, and a feeling of finality and dread washes over me. This is my choice, and I'm going to stick to it. Ventress casts one last glance at my face, but my expression is blank. She nods, saying nothing, and pulling us in for our final descent.

The hot red sand of K-17 crunches under our landing gear, and the Grays make their way out to meet us. Leading the pack are Chikari and Kronos, wide smiles across their faces. The cluster of wide-eyes and excited Grays clamour to get to the ship before anyone else.

Ventress descends before I do, and the Grays make a path for her. None of them touch her, they avoid contact. Her proud posture and her aura contrasts the excited mob around her.

I follow after her, at least, I try to. I'm almost immediately stopped by the Grays, their eyes all on me, asking me about my trip and about why it took so long. Chikari beams at me from across the crowd, her mouth drawn into a silly grin. Kronos stands beside her, his hand around her waist.

I remember the feeling of Lux's arm around me, his hand resting gently on my hip.

I remember more, but it's too painful to dwell on. I said goodbye to him, and made a choice to return. I can't go back on my decisions. If I had, I would be back with the Jedi, and have never had a relationship with Lux in the first place.

I may not be wise, but I do trust my own judgement.

When the crowd finally dissipates, only two people stay to speak to me. Norissa and Brons, arms crossed, make their way over to me. They wear determined expressions, their mouth pulled down on one side.

"Ahsoka," Norissa calls.

I nod, closing the gap between us.

"This is important," Brons begins. "Please, don't interrupt us."

"You may be our leader, but you are not a Gray," Norissa explains. "There is something you must do first."

I raise an eyebrow, but let her continue.

"As the Jedi seek peace, and the Sith seek power, the Grays seek Balance."

"There is a power inside you," Brons interjects. "A power you cannot control, because it is tied to your emotions, which you were taught to repress."

A power?

"You must work to accept this power and the new reality it will bring," Norissa finishes.

"How do I do that," I ask.

"Concentration."

Di'ari waits for me in front of my room, a sour scowl on her face. Her arms are folded, her jaw set back on her face.

"Did you see how happy they were?"

I nod, clasping my hands together. "They look like they really love each other."

She scoffs. "She could do better than that tattooed ruffian- no offense."

"None taken," I say, shocked at her attitude. "Why can't you just accept defeat? Maybe it's better for them if you just... Fake some happiness? She's not that petty."

She shakes her head. "Chikari wouldn't be able to forgive me. I made a mistake."

"Speaking of mistakes," I mutter, hoping she doesn't hear me.

"What mistake?"

"I may have... Pushed it a bit too far with my senator friend. But it's none of your business."

She looks at me again, a look of realization on her face.

"You, you-"

"Stop," I interrupt. "I don't need your attitude."

"You said you were just going to say hello, remind him you're alive, and leave."

"Yeah, well, that's not exactly what happened."

"By the force, Ahsoka, don't you have any self respect?"

Anger boils up in me, a hot flame licking the insides of my head, and forcing my anger out in a blast.

"That's none of your business, Di'ari," I screech, slamming my bedroom door behind me.

I let out a guttural cry as I slide down the door.

That was uncalled for.

"Focus, Ahsoka!"

Norissa sits across from me, sitting in a meditating position. Her eyes only flick open for a second as she tells me to focus. In that instant, her concentration breaks slightly, and she wobbles a bit as she levitates off the ground.

"Remember our code.

 _There is no Dark Side, there is no Light._

 _There is only the Force._

 _I do what I must to keep the balance._

 _The balance is what bonds me._

 _There is no Good without Evil, nor is there Evil without Good._

 _There is passion, yet emotion._

 _There is serenity, yet peace._

 _There is chaos, yet order._

 _I am a spark of the surge, a protector of Equality._

 _I am the flame which lights the way through the darkness._

 _I am the tender of the flame, the warrior of Peace._

 _I am a guardian of Balance._

 _I am a Gray._

Only if you truly believe and accept this will you be able to purify your crystals."

I close my eyes again, focusing my abilities into finding the peaceful blankness of mind, while also trying to release my tension. Tiny blue sparks shoot from my fingertips, and a hot rush of anger and frustration shoots through my arms. My lightsabers sit across from us on a low table, their crystals exposed.

It's been two weeks since I got back from Onderon, and we've been doing nothing but meditating for most of the days until now. My crystals are lightening in color, my yellow saber is now a very light yellow, and my green saber is now a light green. The last bit of color must be purified before I'll have control of my new power and the official status of Gray.

I feel a surge of electricity as a wave of lightning shoots from my fingertips, and bounces throughout the room, and my sabers clear one last time, purifying completely.

"Well done, Ahsoka," Norissa congratulates me. "You did it."

I smile, glad of the release. My powers have grown, but I hope I will never have to use this new ability.

I take my sabers and ignite them, satisfied with the white glow.

Norissa pats me on the shoulder, and leads me out of the meditation chamber. I won't have to return for a while now.

"How about some food," she asks.

"No, I'd rather go to my room and rest," I say, gagging at the thought of food.

"Ahsoka, when is the last time you've eaten something?"

"I had some breakfast this morning," I say, remembering the dry grey bun which crumbled. It didn't stay down for long. "I've been feeling a bit ill lately. I'd rather just get over it."

Norissa raises an eyebrow. "Ahsoka, is there a chance that something... Happened between you and the senator of Onderon?"

I remember the night we shared and blush. "No, nothing happened," I lie.

"Oh, oh no," Norissa gasps. "This isn't good."

"What's not good?"

"Ahsoka, you're not sick. You have morning sickness."

"I'm not quite sure what you mean," I say, confused.

"You're pregnant."

My heart drops. My mind flashes back to Lux, and my pulse beats out of my chest. "No, no I can't be."

"It has to be it," Norissa pleads.

"No, no, you're wrong," I protest. "I'm not... No."

I rush away, tears filling my eyes and dripping down my cheeks, my breath coming in ragged and quick.

She has to be wrong, she has to be.

I can't be.

No.

This note is here for copyright purposes.

The Gray Jedi code is not mine, I found most of it on a pic from 9GAG, and added my own spin. I could not find the original source.


	15. Chapter 15 - Changes

Chapter 15 - Changes

Norissa was right.

It's a baby.

Our baby, I suppose, mine and Lux's. But I don't have the time for this, I barely have enough time to look after myself, and I can hardly drop off a newborn on his doorstep like its a package. Especially with his status. But... It feels wrong to get rid of it. It's what could have been. If I hadn't had my commitments to the Grays, or if he hadn't had his commitments to the Senate.

I wonder what Master Skywalker would do.

I guess he couldn't really know, he isn't a woman. He can't know what it's like to have a child inside of you that shouldn't exist.

Di'ari waits for me again, in the mess hall, her manual flipped up, covering her oil-stained nose.

"When are you going to stop waiting for me," I mutter as I sit down across from her, placing my hard grey plastic tray on our poorly constructed durasteel table.

"When you stop needing me," she says, reaching for her cup of Caf.

I laugh. "It would seem you need me more than I need you, dear."

She smirks. "You sure about that?" She glances down at my stomach, and raises an eyebrow.

"What?"

"In case you didn't know, that little one's force signature may be weak, but not undetectable."

I blush.

"Please, Di'ari, only Norissa and I know-"

"I won't tell anyone," she laughs, putting her book down. "What are you going to do?"

"I- I don't really know," I mumble, "I can't just leave it on his doorstep."

"Why not," she asks.

"He's a senator."

"So what? Politicians get into trouble all the time, and sleep around more than you think."

"Not the ones I know."

She shakes her head, but gives up her chase.

"I have a gift for you," she says, a baiting smile on her lips.

"Really," I say with a smile. "What kind of gift?"

Di'ari leads me, blindfolded, through the halls of the base, eventually making it to her room.

"Can I take the blindfold off, Di'ari," I ask, a nervous tension in my voice.

"No, I have to put it on you."

"Is this jewelry?"

"No," she spits, disgusted. "Why would I buy jewelry for you?"

"I dunno what else a fried buys for their friend!"

"Well, if most friends buy each other jewelry, consider me an ultra friend. You can untie now."

I fumble with the headscarf Di'ari tied around my head, and look into the mirror she put in front of me. I make an audible gasping sound as I look down at what she bought me.

Around my waist, on my wrists, my shins, and on my chest are large plates of armor, yellowish-gold in color, with grey-silver designs and trim. They glint in the light, never worn before but clearly sturdy and dependable.

"You'll probably keep going out on missions, so I wanted you to be protected. You never know what might happen."

I smile wide, and embrace her in a tight squeeze.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I squeal.

"It's no problem," she assures me. "I just, don't want you to die out there, okay?"

"With this, I certainly won't," I beam.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she says, turning away to hide a grin.

"Thank you," I say again, kissing her forehead. "This is a great gift."

She smirks. "You should get to bed now. Don't want to get too tired with that baby on the way."

"Thanks again," I say as I leave.

A few weeks pass, and my nausea starts to go away. Nobody but Norissa and Di'ari know about the pregnancy, and I intend to keep it that way.

Each day is a grind compared to before. Everything is more complicated with my constant headache and this insatiable hunger. But I feel stronger in a way.

On this particular day, though, I feel almost normal.

I know that I can't have grown much yet, but even so, my clothes seem tight, and childish to me now. The simple reddened hide dress and the diamond-cut out leggings seem like something more becoming of a child, a person who still doesn't understand the hardship and the costs of war. Also, the tiara I was given from Hoonji doesn't match the dark red fabric, and neither does the armor I got from Di'ari.

Instead of wearing my normal clothes I instead dress in a simple baggy Grey shirt, and tight dark grey leggings. I'll have to get some new clothes.

I make my way to mess hall, walking more carefully than I used to, but still moving quickly.

As soon as I enter the Mess hall, a familiar voice calls out to me.

"Ahsoka!"

Chikari sits alone at a table near the back left corner of the hall, with a silly grin on her face.

I make my way over to her, and she envelops me in a hug.

"You're not wearing your normal clothes," she remarks.

"No," I reply. "They seem childish now."

She gets this glint in her eye, and squeezes my hand.

"Would you like to go with me to get some new clothes?"

Thirty minutes later, Chikari is flying us to a nearby system, called Nao Hutta, to get some more comfortable clothes. She wears this goofy grin as she flies, and I feel myself slowly sink further and further into the fabric of the chair, dreading the hours that will surely come, hours of picking through garment after garment until she's satisfied. If I still had Senator Amidala around, though, it might take longer to buy clothes. Chikari is a fair compromise for the hours and hours of selecting outfits with Senator Amidala, never mind hair and accessories.

Maybe that's why she has only five consistent outfits.

We finally leave the shopping trip with my new clothes, a grey tunic, and a pair of dark grey pants and grey boots that match my armor and tiara.

"That was fun, wasn't it?"

Chikari looks over at me, giggling at how tired I've become. I'm hunched over, clutching my sides, attempting to walk on my tiptoes because it hurts less than walking normally, but also trying not to break my neck walking across the packed-sand road.

"I thought we'd buy something stretchy," she says, "with all that growing you'll be doing in the weeks to come."

I feel shocked for a moment. Did she find out? "Are you implying I'm gaining weight?"

We board the ship, and she smiles at me.

"It's obvious to any girl, Ahsoka. That's not just food in that belly of yours."

My jaw drops open, and I look over at her in disbelief.

"How did you guess?"

"I'll tell you when we get back and get some food, I'm famished," she quips, winking, and then turning on the ships engines. The ships roars to life.

"So, how did you figure it out," I ask.

Chikari sits across from me, another goofy grin on her face.

"You know, when you don't eat as much, but you're constantly throwing up, and you don't run around like you used to, it sets off some warning bells in my head. Especially a few weeks after a mission with a lost love of yours."

"You noticed," I cringe.

"Of course. I'm not dense. Obviously, you and your senator boy are in love. And I mean love." Chikari smiles. "The thing they say, y'know, pregnancy glow, I can see it with you."

I laugh. "I don't think so. I feel gross. I'm beyond done with throwing up every two hours."

Chikari snickers. "I'll have to remember that for when Kronos and I have a kid."

"You're planning on it?"

"Oh yeah," she beams. "I'd love to have children, and Kronos is the only person I'd want to have them with."

"That's so sweet," I coo. "I bet you'd have beautiful kids."

She smiles at me again. "Thanks, Ahsoka. I bet your child will be the most beautiful child anyone has ever seen."

I laugh. "Cut it out, we sound like a couple of grandmas."

We descend into a fit of giggles, Chikari's bird-like laugh contrasting against my laugh, which sounds more guttural and heavy.

Boom.

Something explodes, and we're hit by an aftershock that sends us flying off our bench.

"What was that?"

"I don't know," I say.

Suddenly, our alarm starts wailing, and people start screaming.

"What's going on," I demand of someone running past us.

"We're under attack," he pants.

"What?"

The man shakes his head and keeps running.

"Wait here," I tell Chikari, grabbing my lightsabers and running off to the entrance.

I scale the stairs, taking them five at a time. Around me, people scurry and scatter, panicking. A woman screams, a child cries. These are my people. I have to protect them.

I ignite my sabers as I reach the top of the stairs, bracing for the incoming barrage of what I assume must be droids.

My heart stops for a moment as I look out at the group attacking us.

A battalion of republic Clones.


	16. Chapter 16 - The Fall

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

 **I accidentally published the wrong chapter of a different story this morning, and didn't notice until a certain review told me it was a completely different chapter. This is the correct chapter here.**

 **Sorry guys!**

Chapter 16 - The Fall

Rows upon rows of white-armored clones march towards us, blasters firing every which way. Leading them is a tall dark figure, a red saber ignited in his hand. His face, rather, his mask, glints in the desert sun, and he marches with an eerily familiar walk. His breath sounds like a man gasping for air, inhaling with the same intensity and desperation as someone drowning, and exhaling as much air as possible to be able to breathe in again. His head hangs low over his shoulders, standing like a broken man, his eyes downcast, and yet, a certain pride in him. He seems... Tortured. A soul tormented in darkness. His gaze falls upon our tiny base, and something in him seems to jump with joy. He motions to his troops to advance at full speed, and he takes off in a mad sprint for us.

Everything seems to slow as the leader begins his assault. Our guards do their best, igniting their sabers as fast as they can, but they are no match for the monster which preys on them now. He brings his saber down, and with one powerful swing, the guard closest to him splits in half, and falls to the ground, his saber skidding across the sand.

I hear a cry, my own, as I turn to warn my friends. It seems that every second is an eternity, as I push people back down the stairs, screaming for them to get to the hangar, to get off this planet before they are killed. I spot Di'ari amongst the madness, and she looks at me in fear, searching for Chikari. I look down at the mess hall, where she should be, and Di'ari follows my gaze, nodding and making a break for the mess hall.

"Ahsoka," someone calls.

"Get out of here," I urge.

Hoonji blows right past me on the steps.

"You go. They need you more than they need me." He pushes the small of my back as he ascends the stairs, taking them five at a time.

I reach back for him, calling out to him.

"Ahsoka, I'll get him. You get going," another person says.

Kronos pushes me out of the way, and draws his saber. He stops only for a second to say goodbye, and then takes off after Hoonji.

I can only pray that they'll be alright.

Clones pour into the chasm now, gently floating down on jet packs and suspended by wires. I watch as innocents are gunned down like animals. All that I can do it deflect their blasts and hope that others can escape. The shiny white armor reminds me of the many days I spent out on the battlefield with the 501st. Tears well up in my eyes as I remember the friends I made, the clones I loved so much.

The bodies seem to pile up, too many of us are dying.

"Ahsoka," calls Hoonji, his breath rugged and raspy.

He somehow makes his way down the stairs, tripping over the bodies which lie on every other step. Tears brim in his eyes, and he looks at me with a certain desperation.

He makes it over to me, batting back blaster fire as quickly as he can.

"You have to get out of here, now. He's coming."

My heart jumps into my throat, and my fingers begin to tingle with electricity as I realize who he means.

The leader dressed in black, the man who hides behind the mask.

He takes my hand and pulls me behind him.

"What about Kronos?"

"He's coming."

I glance back quickly, only to find Kronos and the leader, Kronos fighting his way down the stairs, backwards, and the leader beating him back with swift, angry blows.

I don't see more, as Hoonji ducks into the passage which leads to the hangar.

"Are you alright," he asks.

"I'm fine. We have to get out of here. What's going on?"

"I don't know," he pants. "But I don't think it's good."

I nod, and he steers me into the hangar. Only one ship is left, and Chikari and Di'ari wait on the loading ramp for us.

"What are you still doing here," I demand, "I told you to get out of here."

"Not without Kronos," Di'ari grunts.

I look at her, taken aback. I thought she hated Kronos.

Chikari's eyes spill over with tears, and she grasps Di'ari's hand so hard it turns white.

"We have to get out of here, quick," Hoonji barks, making his way to the cockpit. "I'm starting the engines, now."

I take Chikari's free hand, and pray that Kronos makes it.

The engines roar, and the ship springs to life.

"Wait," Chikari calls.

In the tiny doorway, she spots Kronos, who rushes through. His eyes show no courage, nor strength now. He cowers in fear of what follows.

The masked leader ducks through the doorway, his saber raised. I hear a faint laugh as he brings it down, sending sparks flying from Kronos' saber, and pushing him back.

"Give up. You will die here."

"I can't," Kronos grunts. "I have someone I love. I can't just leave her."

Something in the leader snaps. "What do you know of love? You will never know the truth of love!" He swings down at Kronos again, anger surging through his blade. "Love is a lie, a fallacy we are told as children. Love only leads to betrayal!"

"You're wrong," Kronos protests.

The leader stabs one last time, and Kronos has no time to stop him. The blade pierces through him, and blood spurts from him and from his mouth. His body crumples to the floor and his saber rolls away from him, as the puddle of his blood grows.

I feel the current of electricity take over my body, and my fingers snap with sparks and tiny bolts of lightning. My eyes flash white for a second, and I feel myself losing control of my senses. The ship roars loud for a moment, and jumps off the ground. Another bolt strikes out at the black leader, but he blocks the bolt, and steps back, unfazed.

Chikari whimpers, and Di'ari lets go only for a moment. The leader kicks Kronos' saber hilt through his blood, leaving a deep red stain on the weapon. Suddenly it lifts from the ground, and Di'ari carries it over to her, giving it to Chikari.

"Go," Di'ari calls to Hoonji.

"What about Kronos," he asks.

"Just go!"

The ship hovers for a moment before the ramp lifts and we leave the surface.

Chikari loses her legs, and clutches Kronos' saber to her chest.

We lost a warrior today.

The ship sputters and shakes as we speed over the sandy surface. We are to meet another group of Grays on the opposite side of the planet, and figure out where to go. The leader of those clones is surely after us, and we have to make the most of our time.

I sit in the cockpit, next to Hoonji. His eyes are completely focused on the horizon, I suppose it's his way of suppressing his tears. Kronos had been his partner, and they were close. It can't be easy to leave him to die.

I take a deep breath as he steers us into a descent where a small gathering of ships is stationed. There are only a few ships, fifteen at most. I pray that Ventress escaped with her life.

The ship shudders and shakes as it lands, kicking up large plumes of sand. The Grays watch our ship with empty eyes, and small children sob into their hands, mourning the loss of their friends and parents.

I'm greeted by sobbing eyes and distraught faces when I step off the ship. There aren't many of us left, a quick visual scan says there are about 100 of us left. At least 400 of us didn't make it, perhaps more.

Di'ari's arm wraps around Chikari, like she's trying to squeeze the sadness out of her. Hoonji walks out of the ship, running his hand over his head, his large glassy eyes brimming with tears. All of us lost today.

I take the first watch as what's left of us get back on our ships to rest. The hours pass slowly, the minutes crawling by. We can't do anything until we know that all of the survivors are here. Every ten minutes I send out a distress signal to any ships which are connected to our wavelength. It may not be the safest form of communication, but it's the best we've got.

My eyes begin to drug closed when the ships return. Large durasteel carriers containing soldiers, and walkers as well as artillery units make their way over the horizon, in a cloud of sand.

I let out a yelp as my brain registers the threat. I fumble to the radio and screech over the intercom.

But it's too late.

The first ship explodes, all of the passengers inside must have died immediately. Hoonji rushes in, his eyes wide with fear, and pushes me aside to take the controls. I get up, making a mad dash for the loading bay. If I can get out and disarm just a few artillery cannons, we might have a shot.

I barely make it down the ramp when a sharp, burning pain pushes me back. I feel my entire being lurch out with pain, my back arching with the scream which comes out from me, ringing across the battlefield. My vision blurs as the sky grows dark.


	17. Chapter 17 - Ambush

**Author's note**

 **Sorry about this morning, guys, as an apology I'm posting this chapter early, I was going to wait a few days, but you guys deserve it! Here's chapter 17!**

Chapter 17 - Ambush

The black veil which rests over my eyes seems to lift, and I feel myself breathe again. Brons stands over me, and a ghost of a smile washes over his face when he sees me open my eyes.

"You're alive," he breathes.

"What happened," I pant, my voice sounding more like a frog than usual.

"We were outnumbered. You were shot, grazed really, but it did enough damage. Only 27 of us are left. It seems we're destined to die out."

"M-m-my stomach," I say.

"We stitched you back together, you should probably be able to walk, now." He comes closer to me, his mouth right next to my ear. "The little one didn't make it."

At first, I'm confused. Little one?

Oh.

My baby.

"I told them to come here, to Nao Hutta," Ventress says.

We're all here, crowded under the same metal structure. The durasteel walls form a pentagon, and large sections are cut out to act as windows, though the glass has long since broken. Ventress sits next to me, propped up against the wall, eating some dried ration of some sort. I do my best to sit straight, I can't seem weak in front of the people who are depending on me now.

"It seemed like the safest place to go. The republic won't come here. It's controlled by Hutts."

I nod, putting my hand on her knee.

"I haven't seen Norissa," I murmur.

"Mirialan? She's down. Hit her head. She won't be waking up for a while now."

"Oh."

It's awfully quiet.

The others stay huddled together in the abandoned structure, all crowded around the fire. Each one of us has at least one of their hands on their belt, touching at least one finger to their weapon.

I take a quick head count to check the number, and the 27 are all accounted for. It's hard to believe that this is all that is left of us. The five hundred of us who left the hideout only a few months ago are now down to us. Di'ari stands with her hand on Chikari's shoulder, as she weeps, clutching at her face. She holds Kronos' weapon in her hand like she's really holding his hand. She kisses it, then rests her forehead across the flat surface of the wood. His blood stain still glistens, and when she pulls her face away, a spot of his blood remains on her face.

Brons and Hoonji rest Norissa's unconscious body across their jackets on the floor. Her face is twisted into this terrified expression, and her blood slowly drips down from the back of her head across her forehead. Her eyelashes flutter gently, her shoulders moving slightly each time she draws a breath.

The rest of us have their arms around each other, staying together for warmth.

"Do you think we really lost them?" Ventress stands up, her hands shaking, her legs snapped together as tightly as they can go. Her posture mimics that of a plastic doll.

"I dunno," I say. "Who was that?"

His face, or rather, his mask flashes across my memory. The black durasteel metal, shined to perfection, the triangular grate, and the sound of his breathing, the rough inhale and exhale of breath. See the bolt of lightning I sent at him, and his calm posture as he blocked it. I was useless to defend Kronos. I should have been the one to die there, not him.

"Whoever he is, he's going to pay," spits Ventress. "He killed so many of us."

"Don't you think his fighting was familiar, though?" I remember his movements, so familiar, and so personal. I know I must have known him.

"He was probably a Jedi until now. All of you use the same fighting style, it's not a big deal."

"Maybe you're right," I say. But something really was familiar about the way he fought. "Either way, it's probably not someone we knew."

"Yeah," sighs Ventress. "But he had better not come looking for us again."

Evening falls too quickly, and set up a night watch system. I have the third shift, though I probably won't get much sleep.

Lorien, one of the Twi'lek girls wakes me when it's my turn, and then crawls off to bed. I creep over the sleeping people next to me, and take the post that faces the only entrance. I rest my back against the beam that supports the roof, and slide into a sitting position, resting my elbows on my knees.

I have to stay awake for two hours, and then I'm supposed to wake Morin for the next shift.

The sky outside is completely black. Shadows move in the dark, playing tricks on my eyes. The fire casts strange patterns across the walls, eerily human-like.

Suddenly, a flash of red light blinds me for just a moment, and a beam of that light pierces through the darkness.

My heart drops into my stomach.

He's here.

I let out a quick scream, igniting my lightsabers as fast as I can before the barrage of red beams of light come streaming forth.

Ventress rises quicker than anyone else, whipping out her blaster in one fluid motion, and firing her energy beams into the cluster of black-clad troopers who pour into the room like water.

Their leader's breath quickens as he begins his massacre, striking downward with his saber at the waking survivors.

It's impossible for us to defend ourselves, our guard was so let down while we slept. We drop like flies.

Hoonji, Brons, Chikari, and Di'ari attack the leader with all their strength, and I move back to stand above Norissa, defending and deflecting her from the shots.

All four of my friends strike, fighting together, but he is too strong. Chikari is pushed back against the wall, her head crashing against the hard metal structure. She lets out a yelp of pain before she stumbles down.

Hoonji tries to jump over the leader, but he thrusts his saber in the air, and as Hoonji flies overhead, he passes through the red lightsaber, his body splitting in half, each half of his body landing on either side of the leader, as he thrusts outward to strike Brons. Brons swings his whip, making constant with the leader's blade, pushing it away. Then he strikes down diagonally at his legs. The leader steps aside, and brings his blade down on Brons, killing him instantly. Di'ari moves to strike with her two-handed saber, sending his weapon flying across the room, towards me. It crashes against the sand, skipping over to me, and lands at my feet. The leader is unimpressed, and chokes her, her arms flailing, trying to hit him, to make him stop, but he is too powerful, and she finally goes limp.

Then his attention turns to me.

Quickly, I glance down at the lightsaber at my feet, before he pulls it back to him.

It can't be.

No.

It's impossible.

It's just like Anakin's.

Ventress leaps back to defend me, firing her blaster at the leader.

"Stay back," she orders, and I step back a bit, careful not to step on Norissa.

The leader catches the saber again, igniting it and swinging it in one swift motion, his blade slicing through Ventress' blaster.

And then, he stands there, his shoulders shaking and a long, deep laugh comes from him, one all too familiar. Even with the voice distortion, it's obvious who is behind the mask.

"Look at you. Once you were enemies, you lived to destroy the other. Look at what weakness has made you."

"It isn't weakness to make amends with our enemies. After all, isn't that what you did, master?"

Ventress glares back at me, confused.

"You truly are a fool," Anakin laughs.

"Anakin, you don't have to do this, don't give in! You were supposed to bring balance to the force, not destroy it!"

"Anakin Skywalker is dead. I am Darth Vader." He raises his blade high, and begins to bring his arm down to kill us.

Ventress pushes me back out of the way, then gets behind me as I hand her my short saber.

"Give that back to me when this is over," I remind her.

"Don't worry, this isn't nearly long enough for me," she scoffs, turning it over in her hand, and holding it like a dagger.

Vader laughs again, his voice all too familiar. "You cannot get away," he says, the troopers joining him on either side. His blade makes contact with what would have been the floor, if Norissa wasn't lying there. She's stabbed through the heart, but at least she didn't have to watch all of her friends die.

Ventress scoffs, turning meet the wall behind us. She tries to cut the solid metal, but it's taking too long. As she grunts, Vader taunts me, parrying my strikes, and I feel my hands well up with electricity again.

I could let it out. I could try to shock him again. He wouldn't see it coming, he's distracted. I point my hands toward him, and breathe, ready to let go.

But I can't hurt him, he was the father I never knew.

My hands buzz more intensely, and tiny sparks fly out from my fingertips, blue electricity crackling against the cold night air.

I have to save myself.

Finally, I throw my saber.

Not at Vader, but above him, my blade spinning across the room through the air, and finally cutting through the only support for the roof, and in one sweet second of silence, everything is still, before the metal bends, shrieking and breaking, and crashes down on top of us.

Then, everything is black.


	18. Chapter 18 - Waking Again

Chapter 18 - Waking Again

Anakin stands in front of me, though he does not see me. His face, uncovered by the mask, is full of turmoil. He wears his Jedi robes, and he holds his lightsaber in his hand, the cool blue blade blazing in the darkness. Behind him, Senator Amidala stands, her eyes vacant, her belly swollen. She wears a short beige dress with red detailing, and a pair of leggings. Her hair is pulled back, and out of her eyes. Opposite her stands Chancellor Palpatine. His eyes blaze like fire, and a twisted grin morphs his face into a devilish look. I look behind me, and Obi Wan stands opposite Anakin, tears streaming down his face and into his beard.

Suddenly, Obi Wan is pushed away, and he stumbles down to the floor. A group of younglings appear before Anakin, and he mercilessly cuts them down, no remorse in his eyes. Behind him, Palpatine begins to laugh, his back arching as each child dies, their lifeless bodies crumpling to the floor.

Suddenly, Padmé springs to life, and takes hold of Anakin's shoulder, but Anakin simply pushes her away and chokes her, suspending her above the ground.

Then, bodies fall, all of them clothed in Jedi robes, making a ring of Jedi corpses which surround Anakin, the one nearest him the lifeless body of Mace Windu.

Anakin finally drops Padmé, but she disappears, her silhouette now the only thing visible. Obi Wan springs back to life, igniting his saber and attacking Anakin, whose eyes now flicker with golden light. They battle, evenly matched, until Obi Wan gets the upper hand, and slices off three of Anakin's limbs. Anakin bursts into flames, and Obi Wan suddenly carries two bundles, one on each arm, before disappearing. Palpatine makes his way over to Anakin now, and a cloud of black smoke covers Anakin, which forms into the masked suit, the man who attacked and killed so many of us.

Then, he finally notices me, and his hand outstretches towards me, a dark aura seeming to come from him.

And then, it's over.

The dust settles slowly around me as I open my eyes again. Sand gently floats down until it finds a place to rest around and on top of the large slabs of thick durasteel. I can barely breathe, the heavy material pressing down on my chest and forcing the air out of me.

"Ventress," I call, or at least, I try to, but my voice is muted by the burning sensation in my throat, and the lack of air. I realize as I lay there amongst the rubble, that even though I may have survived the initial destruction, I may die here, suffocated by the thick durasteel roof.

I close my eyes and lay my head back against the cold metal, attempting to let more air into my lungs. There's not much I can do, if I want to get out of here, I have to move.

But I can't.

A familiar voice carries over the wreckage.

"Ahsoka?"

My heart leaps into my throat.

"Ventress!"

"Where are you?"

I look around, trying to find a marker, something that would tell her where I am.

"Um," I start, my eyes still scanning the pile of wreckage and debris. "I don't know, I don't know how to tell you."

"Maybe you can find me. I'm by the only standing wall!"

I try to move so I can scan behind me, but I'm so stuck, I can't budge.

"I can't," I pant. "I can't turn around!"

"I think I can get out," she says, trying to sound calm. "Just keep talking, I'll follow your voice."

I hear her move some thing heavy, and a lightsaber ignites.

"Okay, I'm out."

"I'm over here," I call, trying to raise my arms."

"Keep talking, it's hard to see you under all this stuff."

"Okay," I say. "Do you think anyone else made it?"

"I'd rather not think about it."

Suddenly, my eyes fill with tears and I begin sobbing, loudly. "I killed them. This is all my fault. If I had just taken that braid back-"

"It's not your fault!"

"You don't know that," I croak. "I shouldn't have left him, I could have stopped all this!"

"Stop it," she yells, heaving a heavy slab of durasteel away. I feel her hands on my shoulders, and she begins to try and pry me out. "Even if you could have prevented it, you can't go back in time. You can't blame yourself for something you couldn't control."

I let out a loud wail, and Ventress sighs as she pulls me out of the wreckage.

"We need to get out of here before they come back. I need you to get a grip," she says, turning my face towards her and staring me in the eyes.

I nod, and wipe my eyes. I feel my chest heaving.

"I don't think anyone made it," Ventress says, a darkness to her voice that I hadn't heard before.

"That can't be true," I say. "Chikari, Chikari has to be okay, she only hit her head. We have to dig everyone out and check."

Ventress takes my hand, and looks at me, a sad expression on her face. Tears brim in her eyes.

"Ahsoka. There's no way she made it. We're the only survivors."

"No," I sob, choking on my words.

She pulls me to her, wrapping me in her arms.

"I'm sorry, Ahsoka."

My body suddenly begins to hum with electricity, and I feel my energy build up. I feel a strange force pull me up into the air, and I can't hear anything but the constant buzzing and snapping of energy. My vision clouds over with white, and I feel my feet leave the ground.

A pulse of energy bursts out of me, and suddenly I'm enveloped in heat and energy. I hear the crackling and fizzling of electricity, and I feel my power, my life source rise up inside me.

It really is my fault.

Ventress and I make our way to the city, hoping to find a cheap cloak vendor to steal from. My lightsaber is all I really have left of my time as a Jedi. Everything else is gone. But I guess that's not all that's gone now.

The marketplace is quiet, somber faces fill the streets, and vendors look at their patrons with suspicion.

Ventress snags a couple of cloaks from a nearby stand, and we don them, flipping the hoods up to disguise our faces.

"We can't stay here," Ventress whispers. "We'll have to steal a transport off of this planet."

"Where do we go," I ask.

"I don't know."

I take a deep breath, and she takes my hand, guiding me to a local transport garage.

"We have to go somewhere he won't find us."

"He has eyes everywhere, where in the galaxy is it going to be safe?"

"Those sorts of questions don't solve problems, you know."

"I'm just trying to be realistic. I don't want to lose you, too. You're... The last... One."

"I know."

We steal a small ship, a banged up old thing. The outside is painted a dull red, and there's a bird painted on the roof of the ship. It's spherical, with large wings that are pulled into the ship when it's on the ground or when it's traveling straight.

Ventress flies, and I sit as still as I can in the co-pilot seat. I have no idea where we're going, if Hutt-controlled territory isn't safe anymore.

My mind wanders back to my friends. I see Chikari, her wide, perfect smile on the first day I met her. Her gaudy orange apron, her cute purple hair. I remember the first time I saw Di'ari, splayed out on a couch with an owner's manual in her hand for a ship I'd never seen before. Then I see Norissa, Brons and Hoonji, all of them comfortably socializing in the mess hall of the old base. Then there was the day that Krass and Leon were killed. I remember the lost expressions on their faces, the impending madness dawning on them as they realized their loss. I suppose that's how I look, now.

I lost all of them.

And on top of that, I lost the baby.

Maybe it's for the best. I couldn't take care of a child in these times.

Then again, this baby would be the only memory, the only token of the unspoken love between me and Lux.

I put my head in my hands.

I must truly be a monster, to let this happen.

We land on a misty planet covered in green stuff. The air is full of water, and the native people here look more like fish and bugs than anything else. The planet is mainly populated by rejects and scum. A perfect place to blend in.

"Ahsoka," Ventress calls.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to leave you here for a few days. I need power converters for the ship."

"You're really just going to leave me?"

"I'll come back for you," she says. "I wanted to make sure you were somewhere safe before I did this. It shouldn't take too long."

I want to protest, but instead, I just nod.

"I suppose you should go. I'll be alright on my own for a few days."

"I'm sorry, Ahsoka," Ventress says as she boards the ship again.

I watch as her ship flies up and out of sight, and a new sense of finality sinks in.

I may never see her again.


	19. Chapter 19 - Dreams

Chapter 19 - Dreams

I can't breathe.

My body seems to float, suspended in the air, and every time I try to take a breath, I can't. My lungs fill up with water, and I feel myself choking. I struggle against the atmosphere, trying to swim up, to get out of this stuff and take a breath, but it seems that the pool I swim in has no bottom or top.

I open my eyes, and take in the darkness around me. I'm underwater now, and there's a single beam of light shining down in the water. Bubbles swirl in the light, dancing around happily. I fixate on the bubbles, noticing that they aren't mine, and look down.

About twenty feet below me is a pile of bodies, all of them silent and stiff, their final breaths escaping them and floating upwards in a trail of bubbles. Deep red blood leaks upwards, the crimson liquid wrapping itself around my ankles, still warm.

I try to scream, but I cannot open my mouth. My arms flail wildly as I try to swim upwards, following the beam of light, but I cannot escape.

I feel the burn of the water filling my lungs, and a final cough escapes me as I breathe my last.

And then I sit up in my bed.

I wait until daybreak before I leave my room. I'm staying in a cheap apartment complex in the slums of the city. I had to mind-trick the owners to get them to give me a room. They think I'm their niece.

The cold morning air shocks my skin as I step out into the street. The humid air mixed with the frigid temperatures create tiny water crystals which float in the air.

The marketplace is quiet this morning, and only a few vendors have their shops open. Joppa, the electronics and parts vendor, waves me over to him. He saves the best things for me, and gives them to me for a good price, in exchange for protection from the law. Today, his face is sullen and sad, and he looks up at me with tears in his eyes.

"Joppa?"

"I just heard news," he says. "It took a while to spread around, but..."

"What's wrong?"

"The Jedi. They've all been killed."

I already had a feeling this would happen, but that doesn't make it any easier to hear.

"All of them?"

"Yes. Declared enemies of the empire and executed by their squadrons."

I nod my head, closing my eyes.

"You know what that means, right?" He stares at me, intently.

"Yeah," I say. "Not that it was safe for me here anyway, but now the whole galaxy..."

He agrees. "I don't want you to get hurt, I thought I'd warn you."

"Thanks, but you're too late for that." I smile, and pick up a random gadget from his table. It doesn't look like much, probably a power core of some sort. "How much for this?"

"It's yours, if you want it."

I look up at him, and he wears a sincere expression.

"Thanks."

I spend most of my days waiting for Ventress to return.

I wait where she left, in a small clearing amongst a forest of trees a few miles from the city. I don't know when she'll be back, and she can't contact me, so I wait, listening, meditating.

I clear my mind, and it fills with the force. As I sit there, waiting, I practice levitation, hovering and lifting rocks and piles of fallen leaves.

Suddenly, my grip on the force is ripped away, and the leave I had been levitating fly up into the sky, swirling in little whirlwinds. I feel a familiar presence, and leap backwards, not opening my eyes, so that I am covered by the trees.

I open my eyes to see the familiar ship, which I decided should be called the starlet, land in the small clearing. The familiar face of my friend looks down at me, grim. She wears a new set of scars, a particularly noticeable new one carving it's way through the the middle of her face, across her nose and cheeks. Her eyes are vacant, and she doesn't notice me right away.

She descends the landing platform, with only a few things in her hands. Three small metal cylinders, and one small disc-like object.

"Ventress," I breathe, taking her in my arms.

She stands, unmoving, her expression unchanging. I try to pull her closer, to feel her relief, but I only feel the empty shell of a person.

"Ventress?"

"I brought back some power converters," she says monotonously.

"I can see that."

"You have a place to stay?"

"Yeah, Vent-"

"Good," she interrupts, passively.

"Ventress!"

She looks back at me, blankly.

"What's going on," I demand.

She doesn't reply, only shaking her head, and making her way back through the trees.

Dark eyes look at me, a burning golden ring circling the pupil. A chill runs up my spine as they stare through me, and I realize that they aren't actually looking at me.

I turn around, slowly, and find a tower of dead bodies, children and adults alike. They seem to meld together, and break into dust, which swirls around me, towards the eyes I had been looking at before. I turn again, and the dust collects into the shape of a person, and a black silhouette emerges. The figure wears a black cloak, which hangs open over the front of the body, and with a second look, I notice that the body is that of a woman.

She outstretches her arm to me, and she gently brushes my skin, before disintegrating again, the dust creating a pile which is then blown away by a sudden gust of wind.

Under that pile of dust, a body lays silent, and my stomach churns with guilt as I realize who it is.

Ventress.

I awake to an empty room, the bed where Ventress had been sleeping is left a mess. The bedsheets and her pillow lay on the floor, like she threw them down there.

I wipe my eyes, and move to the kitchen, where I find her, staring out our only window into the rain.

"Ventress?"

"I can't stay here," she mumbles.

"What?"

"If I stay here any longer, I'll kill myself. I have to keep moving."

"No, Ventress, you have to stay where it's safe," I plead, "I can't lose you!"

She looks back at me, her head downturned, and her eyes downcast.

"I'm sorry. If I stay, I'm suffocating."

"I can help you-"

"I have to go," she says passively, and wordlessly, she walks out of the room.

What?

This afternoon, Ventress is gone again, but not without a communication device. The small disc she had been carrying with her when she first landed happened to be an old holo communication device, and she gave me her spare. I don't have to wait for her anymore, but being without her is just as lonely as it was before, the remainder of the day passing sluggishly.

In the evening, I go back to my room, alone. The familiar room feels even more menacing as I cross the threshold of the small dorm, it's dark corners containing all the most terrifying creatures, and the most terrible people grasp at my heels as I cross the smooth floor.

I feel a sort of pressure in my chest, one I have never felt before, like a thousand bricks are being pushed into my lungs, and I find it hard to take a breath.

I collapse on my bed, and the room grows even darker as my senses move away from me, and I drift into sleep.

Tonight, my dream is different than my previous few.

I sit on the floor, in a meditation room back on Coruscant. Light peeks through the slats on the windows, striping the room in light and shade.

One other person sits in the room with me, an old friend, or rather, she had been my friend before.

Barriss.

She looks at me with a wide smile on her face, her beautiful blue eyes meeting mine. Her cloak falls across her shoulders, and around her knees, covering her in a blue and black floral design. Her traditional Mirialan tattoos lay across her cheeks and nose, tiny little black diamonds painted into her pale yellow skin.

"Ahsoka," she says, smiling at me.

"Barriss," I reply, smiling back.

Suddenly, the atmosphere shifts, and her eyes shift from blue to black, and she says my name again, this time with a low growl.

I move back, afraid.

"Ahsoka," she snarls again, baring her teeth.

I look at her face, her eyes ringed with a golden color.

Suddenly, I remember what she did to me.

She betrayed me.

She deserted me.

I hate her.

I feel my hands buzz with energy again, and I feel an immense hatred rise up within me.

I hate her.

She deserves to die.

I want to kill her.

Suddenly, she lunges at me, her hands outstretched to strangle me, and I move my hand to block her.

My vision shifts to white, and I don't see any more. All I hear is the loud, high-pitched scream of a girl, but I don't know if it's mine, or Barriss'.

And then I'm sitting upright in my bed, in the dark.


	20. Chapter 20 - Inquisitor

Chapter 20 - Inquisitor

The reality of it all is slowly sinking in.

The fall of the Jedi temple, the galaxy crashing down into ruin. All the people that died. And I can't help but blame myself. If I had swallowed my pride, if I had taken that braid back, I could have been the factor to prevent all of this. But I wasn't there, and my master fell.

No.

He isn't my master anymore.

My master died. He was murdered, slaughtered by the Sith. Just like all the others who died.

There were no survivors. Nobody escaped. Not even Anakin.

Ventress still hasn't returned from her second trip. She left me here, on this mudhole of a planet called Petrant. Nobody talks here. I have to hide my face so that nobody recognizes me. The new stormtroopers are out to find us, even those of us who have no alliance. With all of the friends I had suddenly turning on their closest allies, there's nobody to trust anymore.

I wear a dusty red veil over the lower half of my face, and a hood over my montrals. Togruta are too easy to spot and differentiate, we sort of wear our identification on our skin.

I duck between the bustling people into a dark alley. It smells like rotting fruit and some other stench I can't identify. The smooth concrete walls are slick with slimy mould and unidentifiable liquids. My shoes stick just slightly to the bricks beneath my feet. I follow the passageway between houses and buildings, until I duck out into the street again, just in front of my apartment. I can't be out in public eye for too long, people are always watching. I hide my lightsabers well, but you can never be too careful.

The elevator squeaks as it starts ascent to the third floor. It was built fifty years ago, and I'm actually surprised it hasn't fallen apart yet.

When I open the door to my apartment, I'm greeted by the mess I left this morning. I have no motivation to do anything about it, so I just go to the small kitchen and start cooking myself some dinner. After that, I sit down in my living room, and practice. Meditate. Ever since I collapsed that building on Nao Hutta and had that outburst, I haven't been able to calm the humming noise. Everything just feels charged.

The neighbors think I'm crazy. Every couple days, I just start screaming and crying in my sleep. I can't breathe, I'm trapped in that moment of saying goodbye. I suppose that can only increase after all that's happened.

Tonight, I cry myself to sleep, and wake up three separate times, screaming and crying, clutching the blanket so hard I ache. I remember his face, I remember saying I'm sorry for leaving him, I remember him hugging me, loving me like the father I never had, but then I realize.

It's just a dream.

This morning, the usual mist carries an extra weight of the hunt the night before. Darth Vader's new search squad only made it here a couple days ago, but already seven rebel Jedi have been found and executed. The squadron will be on the lookout for more of us, so I have to be careful.

Just to be safe, I smudge orange paint over my facial tattoos, and give myself a new pattern, just for today. If there's any Anakin left in Vader, he'd remember what I look like, and be looking for me.

I bite my lip as I step out into the streets. There's blood in the gutters. One of my neighbors wasn't too good at hiding their identity.

I wonder if Vader has killed Barriss yet, or if he's waiting for her execution. Even though she betrayed me, and tried to kill me, she was right. The Jedi were corrupt. Controlled by the Emperor, and unable to see clearly.

My boots splash the water on the cold cement. Tiny droplets ripple out. It's strange how the actions of one person can change the fate of so many people.

The marketplace bustles, but is strangely silent. The booths that usually sell out early; the ones that sell things like food and everyday objects, are strangely overstocked, while the booths selling mechanical parts; most of which for ships, are having a hard time keeping up with sales. Suddenly, a shiver swirls up my spine. Someone powerful with the force is nearby. My hands begin to buzz with that electric sensation, I can feel my static collecting.

"Everyone is running away," a familiar raspy voice whispers.

"They should be," I answer. All of the energy floods away, and I'm not charged anymore. She gently places her hand on my shoulder. My hand moves to retrieve what she brought me. "Power converters?"

"The best I could find. Without going right into enemy lines. Tosche station is completely overrun by empire loyalists." She looks at me with glazed eyes and no expression on her face. Her words sound more like a droid than a person. "I've got the ship waiting at Logan bay hangar."

"It's good to see you again, Ventress." I hug her, thankful she made back alive.

"Thanks," she mutters, and turns.

"Have you run into anyone looking for you?"

"No. Skywalker didn't put up any posters of me."

My heart drops as I remember the man behind the black mask. I shudder. "He's not Skywalker. He's someone else."

"It was Anakin, Ahsoka, don't fool yourself."

I shake my head. "I can't believe that."

She shrugs her shoulders. "Have it your way. Darth Vader isn't looking for me."

"Lucky," I sigh. "I don't think he forgot the way I left him."

"It's better you did."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"My master was out to kill me. I know how you feel."

"He didn't kill every Jedi in the galaxy because of you," I say, with a sigh.

We arrive at Logan bay around sunset. Ventress' ship waits at the end of hangar, closest to the doors.

"Someone followed me from Tosche station," Ventress whispers. She stares over at a small white republic ship. It's a senate ship; when its wings open it looks like an upside down Y.

"Who do you think it is?"

"I don't know, and I don't want to know. You should get in the ship, we need to leave now."

Ventress settles into her spot in the cockpit, and I settle into to co-pilot seat.

"Where to?"

"Not here." She mumbles.

"I've heard of a system of caves on Tantar. If we can get beneath the surface and stay under the radar for a while, maybe this will all blow over."

"Ahsoka, this isn't just going to blow over. They won. There aren't any Jedi left."

"We're still here," I protest.

"We are not Jedi. At least, I'm not."

I nod. I'm not a Jedi either. The Jedi were wrong. But they didn't have to pay like this.

I shiver as I turn my attention back to the console. "We have to go somewhere, and Tantar seems like the safest place for now."

Ventress nods, but her brow furrows.

Our ship is slow, so it takes a few days to get to Tantar. Neither of us can sleep. Every moment I go without, the buzzing of energy in my body increases. I'm restless.

When we finally touch down on Tantar, I race out of the ship. Ventress comes out a few minutes later with her supplies.

On the surface, Tantar looks like a rusty desert, completely devoid of all life. But under its dusty surface is a catacomb system of caves, crawling with life and beauty. Three suns twinkle in the sky, which is why Tantar is so barren. The red sea of sand expands before me in a gorgeous vista.

Though it doesn't look too pretty anymore.

I take a deep breath and begin the dark plunge into the abyss that is this cave. Ventress takes out her blaster and flips a switch that ignites one beam of energy, creating a flashlight. I draw my shorter blade, which glows white in the darkness, much brighter than her blaster.

She looks over at my sabers with envy. "Oh I wish I had mine back," she mumbles. "That pest took them, though."

I know she's talking about Barriss. Once a friend, now an enemy. A back stabber. I'm almost glad of her execution, besides the fact that she was once my friend. How ironic. Now I'm with this enemy turned friend.

After a few hours of walking, Ventress looks back at me.

"We can stop here for the night," she says.

"Here" is a large, circular cave with one tunnel, which we came from, and another leading deeper into the natural catacombs.

I set my cloak down on the dusty ground below me. Ventress pulls our dinner from her large bag of supplies.

"It's not much, but it'll do for now," she mumbles. I take the food from her and we eat in silence. When we're done we curl up in our cloaks and shut our eyes for the first time in a few days.

A shock like lightning wakes me from my sleep. Energy is coursing through my blood, and a shiver is shooting down my spine.

"Someone's coming." I shudder, and look over at Ventress. She bolts up from her sleep, fear in her eyes.

"Run."

Suddenly, the rock on the far face of the room is blown away, and a woman, dressed in black steps through the gap she blasted. She wears a full mask over her face, hiding her features. A tight cloak or head scarf covers her hair and shoulders, and the black clothing covers the rest of her body, including her fingertips.

The woman is followed by six stormtroopers.

"Halt. By order of the Emperor, you are under arrest for interrogation by the Inquisitor." The captain of the troopers aims his gun at my chest.

Ventress takes hold of my hand and starts running through the the twisted tunnels below.

"That inquisitor is dangerous," she says as she runs. "I've heard she's been killing the Jedi Vader misses."

"But we're not Jedi."

"Even more dangerous. No alignments."

Ventress grinds to a halt in front of a cliff face, where we had thought we could turn and go down a hall.

The stormtroopers catch up to us first, and begin to fire. Regretfully, I'm forced to take out my sabers and kill them. I think of Rex and Cody as I bounce back their shots. It's hard to kill the people you looked up to, or their brothers.

Ventress takes a flying leap, landing on top of the cliff. "It's not that high, jump up!"

"I can't make it!"

"Come on," She yells, outstretching her hand to me.

I screech as I reach out for her hand, but I miss, and I fall against the cliff face.

"Are you alright?" Ventress leans over the edge of the rock, pulling on my arms. "I'm going to pull you up." She moves back, and I feel my body being lifted slowly, like being floated through a space with no gravity. Then suddenly, I'm pulled back, and a force seems to tug on my ankle.

The inquisitor's force grip on my ankle tightens as she tries to force me back. I use what's left of my energy to fight back against her, and push away. She makes an audible sigh, and jumps up to us, sailing over us, and drawing her lightsabers as she goes.

Her sabers glow an intense red, like blood. The handles are curved, and they look like they can lock together. The strips of black leather alternate down the handle.

They were once Ventress'.

The inquisitor pulls off her helmet, revealing the face underneath. A thin jaw, and a pale yellow face with black diamond tattoos across the nose. Two eyes, darkened by sleeplessness, and two rings of golden yellow pushing through the black of her irises and pupils. Red streaks like lighting bolts surround the troubled, focused circles of black. Her indigo lip color contrasts against her yellow complexion.

"Barriss."


	21. Chapter 21 - Next (END)

Chapter 21 - Next (END)

I gasp as she smiles at me.

"Ahsoka, it has been awhile."

Barriss eyes seem to look through me, and her eye sockets look purple with restlessness. Her skin is pale and thin, a nearly translucent skin over her body. Her clothes drape over her body in pure black folds of long cloth, and her hood stays fixed to her forehead with a diamond-shaped silver plate. She wears grey stormtrooper armor over her shoulders and chest, and a large black shoulder plate denotes her rank.

"I've missed you," she taunts, swinging her lightsaber in a circle.

"But you're supposed to be dead," I stutter.

"Lord Vader saw my potential. He cancelled my execution, and made me his inquisitor. I've been looking for troublemakers. Like you."

"You will do well to stay out of our way," snarls Ventress.

Barriss just snickers as she points her weapon at Ventress' neck.

"Would you like to repeat that?"

"Those are mine," she roars as she whips out her gun, and begins to fire.

Energy surges through my body at the speed of light. Not a moment passes when Barriss is already defending herself, expertly beating back the lasers to Ventress, hitting her with each one. Lines between reality and hyperbole blur. Blood oozes from the slices and punctures of each wound, and her breathing slows and becomes raspy.

"I'll kill you," she screams.

Barriss says nothing, she only stabs her saber through Ventress' chest.

A soft croak escapes her mouth, and her eyes cloud over. Instinctually, my arm flings out in the direction of Barriss, and lighting surges, the pop and static of it flowing through the air and making its contact with her skin. Her body cringes back, and a shrill scream rings out, but not from her. This scream is mine. I hear no sound as Barriss' knees give out and she crumples to the ground, lifeless. Ventress draws a final breath, and falls, the fabric of her cloak cascading down in a black waterfall, crashing to the cold rock floor below.

Time stops when her last breath stops. For a moment, there is no Empire, there is no massacre. There is only us. Us three, once apart, brought together by war, drawn apart by pride. Three like souls. And only one that still draws breath.

Ventress' eyes clear as her body settles, the pale violet skin clearing to white. Barriss' eyes lose their yellow ring as she dies, and peace returns to their once troubled black.

My knees strike the floor hard when I fall. My breath comes in short gasps, and I exhale with a croak.

Warm tears spill over my cheeks as I stare at my friends, killed by my own pride. Grace guides my hand to close their eyes, gently sliding their eyelids. When their eyes are closed, they look like they're sleeping. But the blood from Ventress' wounds stain her clothing.

A loud moan escapes the confines of my chest, ripping through the peaceful air.

Goodbye my friends.

May the force be with you.

When I finally leave, I'm greeted by the third sunset of the day, the last one. Hot rocks crackle beneath my boots, and sparks fly upwards with every step.

I realize now, with the new streams of tears rushing down my face, the truth.

There are more of us out there.

I have to find them before he does.

 **Author's note**

 **Yes, this is the end of Ahsoka Alone, and I have really enjoyed writing this story for you guys. I hope this last chapter wasn't too bad, even though it was short, I felt this was the best place to stop. I may revisit the series and cover the bits between the end of this book and season 2 of rebels, but I can't say for sure. As reference for those of you out there who are Star Wars Movie purists, this story takes place during revenge of the Sith, and leads up to the year just after revenge of the Sith, and there are still about eighteen years until the beginning of a new hope, or even rogue one.**

 **If you have feedback for my story, please, comment, review, send me a message, whatever, I want to know!**

 **Also, I have character designs for my original characters, if you'd like to see them, let me know, and I may post them to my Wattpad or Deviantart account.**

 **This is not the end of my time on Fanfiction.**

 **Thanks for your loyalty and commitment.**

 **Kitty Greene**


	22. BONUS CHAPTER: Amidala

Part One: Queen

Chapter 1: Royalty

The wind whistles through the perfectly pruned trees, and the sun shines across the polished cobblestones of the square. Around me on all sides are the majestic parliament buildings, built from towering stone and decorated with tall columns and intricate engravings of gargoyles. Then, in front of those buildings is a crowd, thousands of people strong, all of them silently looking on in excitement. The only sound I hear is the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. I kneel inside a circle of sculptures, each one a different woman, a leader of our people. I am amongst the queens. Each queen wears a sullen expression, their faces downcast. A scar of remembrance divides their lower lips, and two small circles of colour sit perfectly centered on their cheeks. Each queen is another chapter in the story of my people, and I am about to become the next chapter.

My name is Padmé Naberrie, though my formal name is Amidala. That's the name I'll be taking today, Queen Amidala of the Naboo. I'm the newly elected queen of my people, and today is my coronation day. I wear an intricate dress, made of tiny teal-green scales and gold leaf, my hair pulled back into a thick, voluminous braid encircled in tiny golden discs. For my protection, I'm surrounded by tall, strong bodyguards, dressed in brown leather vests with blue long-sleeved shirts and red pantaloons.

I'm wearing almost every element of a queen's proper makeup, except for the scar. That's the "crown." When I receive that scar, I become a rightful queen of the Naboo.

The last few years of campaigning have finally paid off, I've made it. But, somehow, I still feel insecure, even though I won this election, fair and square. Perhaps it's because I'm still very young for a queen. I'm only fourteen, after all.

"Padmé Amidala, do you promise to protect and serve the people of the Naboo to the best of your ability, to prevent all conflict and strengthen our people, as long as you shall stay in office? Do you promise to care for those in need, to consider the needs of the many, and to make only the decisions which benefit us all? And finally, do you accept your new title of Queen? What is your answer?"

"I do."

"All hail Queen Amidala of the Naboo!"

Trumpets blast and a choir begins to sing as the bishop adds the final stroke of paint across the middle of my lower lip and down my chin. I stand up tall and proud, but I do not smile, as is traditional. The people scream and cheer, each one clamouring for the attention of their queen. I descend the staircase, in the square which is full of sculptures, and step into the royal carriage, a thickly armoured but intricately decorated speeder.

It only gets harder from here.

The carriage finally pulls to a stop in front of the palace entrance, which is ornamented with gold and bright jewels. A long red carpet is laid out across the square and up the stairs, and public service officers stand on every second step, in full uniform. I take my first step towards my new home, the birthplace of democracy on Naboo, and breathe my first breath of air in my new home.

Bang.

I'm pushed over, and I fall, my hands crashing against the rich red carpet, and I hear my dress rip, loudly, as several guards come running.

"What happened," I hear captain Typho ask.

What ensues is calamity as men scramble to get the fallen guard off of me. I can't see anything, but this man weighs more than I do, so I can't get up.

Three guards help the other guard off of me, and another takes my hand and helps me to my feet.

"What is going on?"

Suddenly, a woman from the crowd lets out a scream, as she realizes the fallen guard sacrificed his life for me.

"What happened," I demand.

"Assassination attempt," captain Typho mutters, as he whisks me under him, him towering over me. Several other guards join him, so that I'm tightly encircled in their group, them using their arms and heads to protect me as they whisk me toward the palace doors.

The public services officers follow closely, all of them now holding their blasters, and looking around as if scouring the area for the person who tried to kill me.

I'm escorted to the safe room immediately, and seven other guards enter the safe room with me, for protection. The rest of the guards and officers make their way to their stations for lockdown, and the room is locked tight.

I take a seat in one of the chairs, and fiddle with my fingers, trying not to seem too concerned or scared. I wear a blank expression, as the queen is not to show emotion or fear. The queen is proper and perfect, she does not fear, nor does she break down when something happens that she cannot control.

I take a deep breath and wait for it to all be over.

"Your majesty."

A young guard approaches me, and I notice that all the others here have taken a rest.

"You should sleep," he says, "you need your rest."

"I will not rest in this time of danger."

"You are a noble queen, my lady, but you really must rest."

I only now start to notice how tired I truly am.

"I cannot rest."

Something in his expression changes, and his sweet, caring smile shifts to a disgruntled frown.

"You will sleep," he says, raising his hand to strike me.

I let out a scream.

"What's wrong?" The others spring to life, drawing their weapons.

Just as they stand up, the guard brings his hand down and slaps me, hard, across the face. I let out a yelp of pain, and the other guards pounce onto him, angry faces and furious fists pummel him all over, all of them getting revenge for me.

"You scumbag," Typho yells, landing another punch, and reeling back for another.

"Stop," I plead. "Stop hurting him, and arrest him already!"

A few of the guards are harder to pry away from their victim, but eventually every other guard stands over the traitor, their arms behind their backs, as Typho arrests him.

The traitor spits at me as Typho escorts him out of the safe room, and places him in the care of the nearest high-ranking official.

"I'm sorry, my lady," Typho winces. "We went too far."

"I am grateful that you rescued me, captain. However, I wish to remind you that violence is never the answer to any problem."

He nods. "I'll try to remember, my lady."

We wait a while longer until we receive the "all clear" from the squadron leader, and then we can make our way out of the safe room.

"My lady," Typho says, "I think it would be best to assign a guard squadron to accompany you at all times, for your protection."

"Captain, I respect your guard, but how can I verify that all of your officers are trustworthy?"

"You can't," he replies, shaking his head. "But, I do have a group of young handmaidens trained in the martial arts and experienced in fighting. I think these young women may be the solution to our problem."

"Very well, captain, but I have a condition."

"Anything, my lady."

"I want to train with these women. If I cannot protect myself, how can anyone protect me, truly?"

Typho stares at me, incredulous. "I cannot allow you to go into harm's way!"

"I intend to, captain, whether you approve or not. Besides, it would be best to find a young woman to act as my decoy for dangerous missions."

He nods, hesitantly. "I suppose you are right, my lady."

"Good. I shall leave in the morning."

I stand up from the throne, and the Royal Guard follows me, silently moving through the grandiose hallways behind me, their boots not even squeaking on the polished marble.

The next morning, I awake early, and take a simple hooded gown from my traveling closet, not paining my face, and pulling my dark brown hair into a simple bun.

When I leave my room, no one gives me a second glance, thinking that the girl in the simple clothes is probably a maid or a cleaning lady. I make my way through the palace without a second glance, and enter the throne room with ease.

Nobody comes to this room this early in the day, so the room is eerily silent, the towering marble echoing every step I take.

"Hey," someone yells, from the entrance. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry," I say, whipping around to face him.

Typho looks at me for a long moment, until realization dawns on his face. "Your majesty," he stutters.

I shake my head. "My name is Padmé. I'm to be escorted to the secret training facility for the new secret service.

I am to serve the Queen."


End file.
